I wish I could just forgive him.

But I can't.
He was extremely cruel. I can't forgive him. He promised we were forever. And he knew how deep in it I was. And he knew I'd do anything to stay together. And he knew I was scared of losing him.

Now my hardened up front is all I show him. I don't look at his face. I don't speak to him softly. I'm stern. Even rude in the tone of my voice. I want to separate myself from any softness around him. I am cold and distant. But he won this because he was cold and distant first, while I kept begging him to stay.

I feel like I have been humiliated. How can I forgive him? The man who chose to give me such a heavy blow in the face despite knowing everything about me. The man who said it was none of his business that his friends treated me like sh.it.

I don't think I will ever recover from the hurt.