I wish I knew better than to try fitting in to feel less abnormal. I knew it wasn't gonna work. Why did I try?

I remember in school trying to spend time with other girls in order to try hang out with them and feel not too different. Some of them were kinda nice and before summer vacation, I asked them for their numbers and they readily shared with me. We used to have landlines back then. So I remember trying to call them, and them picking up, but a few minutes later "getting busy" and needing to leave. And then never picking my phone again. And me trying to call everyday. I don't know why I didn't understand that they DIDN'T WANT TO SPEAK TO ME.
Uhgggggghhhhhh. Why ....didn't.....I.... understand.....

I actually feel I'm in the same situation right now. With my "best friend" never having the "time" to reply to my texts...or to pick my calls....they have all kinds of excuses under the sun.....and when they need something....... it's a different story. Idk why I keep soaking up their excuses as TRUTHS.
Also, when they rarely do call me , they quickly have to leave...they get busy at work. Why are you Only calling me at work? Just call me when you're home. Easy.
I'm so.....stupid. It didn't even occur to me until right this moment .... That it's just all the same as it was many many years back when I was a preteen trying to make friends. And I'm still stuck at square one.
Stuck at being stupid. Well at least 2 years later I know...I must start leaving.