Dear Universe,
I Wish I could go back to 2001 when it was the first time Ayman was the first name I met online that attracted me, he who told me that his birthday is on December like me, and he is a Capricorn like me, and he showed me his picture and he told me that he is ugly and I told him "You look like an actor! How could you say that about yourself? You are not ugly!" Then he told me that he is more in to making music and I told him "then I hope you become and actor and a singer and a model" then he spoke about the pain of his heart ache that he went through when he was so in love with a lady who kept manipulating his mind from since they were kids, from 1994 to 1998, and she made him live like a naive person thinking he will be her husband in their future, only she has lived cheating on him in their teen years, and she agreed to marry another guy who has money, because he was poor, and still he couldn't forget her, and that's when I lied and told him that I am obsessed over an Italian singer, just so he wouldn't think I would want to be his rebound, to forget her, but I told him "promise me that if she ever comes back, which I know she will, after when she find out you are singing on stage and you became someone of importance, tell her that it's too late and don't let her come back to your life".
Even though in 2021 when I was 34, before I got to be a first year Nursing student in Bir Hassan, you, the kind universe, that works in God's will and the angels on my shoulders, took me back in my lucid dreams, to these old teenage days, especially on every fasting season, from when I started my Nursing studies journey till it ended in 2024. God showed me guidance that the same guy, who used to know me in my past from 2001, did not forget me, he remembers how I look like, as a teenager and he misses me, he wishes to have my pictures with the same long hair all over the walls of the corridor of his penthouse, or his villa in the mountains, if he ever got one☺ but thanks to the people who didn't want him to know that I have been throwing myself to every nightmare of a poor guy who acts rich like a Mafia, but they only want to take advantage of me by keeping me trapped, and it was a plan by the people who are connected to my rich cousins, so they would take advantage and make everyone around believe that I am the one who Ayman used to know her, but thanks to every person from his connection, from Ruby and her husband and the gangs who didn't believe Charara when she hacked me on MSN messenger and made me Bisexual and that I hate my home city Beirut, they all joined together with Ayman to show the truth.
I Wish I could go back to when I was 18 years old, summer season, when I first saw someone who looked like Ayman, my online crush, in a Waterpark in Naher El Kalb, but only the guy who pulled me up from drowning, looked fit and skinny, and he told me his name is Mohamad, and everyone called him that nickname I love so much "Mike", only that since I am 38 years old in 2025, and since aunty Samira and my mother enjoyed making me look like I am someone who never existed in any Mohamad's memory, I promised myself that the name Mohamad in my life will only be my father and my cousins and my future son, identical to his twin, and even the name Ahmad that I wanted to put above Mohamad, I don't want a guy with that name in my life, because I have my uncle who is like a second father to me and my cousins and I wanna name a son, when I live to see my future, with the name Ahmad. I want instead of Mohamad from Riolento, someone who likes to be called Mike, but his name is Ayman, and he is from the same family as mine or the famous nickname Bayhum.
I am not seeing this as a plan for my life, I am only wishing, and I know people will not make it come true for me, so no worries if anyone would say that it's OK to dream, but with God nothing is impossible.
Ayman, you may never read this, but the universe will send it out to you for me. I will have you and you will be my distant cousin, and we will join the blood and wealth together as one, along with the Egyptians and Romans ancestries who count on us, from since we were little kids, 10 or 11 years old, but for now, let me take Morrone, whom his looks remind me of you, as to be my Hubby in this virtual world of SW, until we reunite in the reality world of the Phoenix City or in the Mountains of the village of Bhamdoun in my coming present or future🤣
Yours Truly,
Dawn
Even though in 2021 when I was 34, before I got to be a first year Nursing student in Bir Hassan, you, the kind universe, that works in God's will and the angels on my shoulders, took me back in my lucid dreams, to these old teenage days, especially on every fasting season, from when I started my Nursing studies journey till it ended in 2024. God showed me guidance that the same guy, who used to know me in my past from 2001, did not forget me, he remembers how I look like, as a teenager and he misses me, he wishes to have my pictures with the same long hair all over the walls of the corridor of his penthouse, or his villa in the mountains, if he ever got one☺ but thanks to the people who didn't want him to know that I have been throwing myself to every nightmare of a poor guy who acts rich like a Mafia, but they only want to take advantage of me by keeping me trapped, and it was a plan by the people who are connected to my rich cousins, so they would take advantage and make everyone around believe that I am the one who Ayman used to know her, but thanks to every person from his connection, from Ruby and her husband and the gangs who didn't believe Charara when she hacked me on MSN messenger and made me Bisexual and that I hate my home city Beirut, they all joined together with Ayman to show the truth.
I Wish I could go back to when I was 18 years old, summer season, when I first saw someone who looked like Ayman, my online crush, in a Waterpark in Naher El Kalb, but only the guy who pulled me up from drowning, looked fit and skinny, and he told me his name is Mohamad, and everyone called him that nickname I love so much "Mike", only that since I am 38 years old in 2025, and since aunty Samira and my mother enjoyed making me look like I am someone who never existed in any Mohamad's memory, I promised myself that the name Mohamad in my life will only be my father and my cousins and my future son, identical to his twin, and even the name Ahmad that I wanted to put above Mohamad, I don't want a guy with that name in my life, because I have my uncle who is like a second father to me and my cousins and I wanna name a son, when I live to see my future, with the name Ahmad. I want instead of Mohamad from Riolento, someone who likes to be called Mike, but his name is Ayman, and he is from the same family as mine or the famous nickname Bayhum.
I am not seeing this as a plan for my life, I am only wishing, and I know people will not make it come true for me, so no worries if anyone would say that it's OK to dream, but with God nothing is impossible.
Ayman, you may never read this, but the universe will send it out to you for me. I will have you and you will be my distant cousin, and we will join the blood and wealth together as one, along with the Egyptians and Romans ancestries who count on us, from since we were little kids, 10 or 11 years old, but for now, let me take Morrone, whom his looks remind me of you, as to be my Hubby in this virtual world of SW, until we reunite in the reality world of the Phoenix City or in the Mountains of the village of Bhamdoun in my coming present or future🤣
Yours Truly,
Dawn
36-40, FNew