wish i could go back to being myself again.

its kinda sad realising I'll never be back being the daughter my parents want and the sister my brother had. time changed me a lot and the change i had is really pathetic. i went from the perfect daughter my parents had to a whole different person. i used to be good at my studies, sociable, kind and sweet, hardworking, happy etc. but now im not even anything. the sister my brother had was really nice to him. not anymore. i feel like i lost the real me. i desperately want to go back but i just cant. i pretty sure my parents and brother want the old me back too. but then again its kind of their fault for losing me. my parent's divorce affected me like crazy but i had to be tough. my brother's rebellious phase made me realize i needed to be the mature one. when my whole family boycotted my mother for having a bf after divorce including my brother, i knew i had to be with her during her lowest instead of crying about the divorce. when my favourite grandfather started ignoring me for supporting my mother, i knew i shouldn't be affected. i was tho. and when all of these happened, i was only 11. 11 and i thought my family would be happier without me and i was better off dead. 11 and i already knew i had to grow up and thats when i lost myself.