I feel misunderstood
My aunt expressed pity towards my lifestyle and goals. She said some things that just made me feel so angry. I didn't say anything because I didn't know how to respond to her comments. Then we awkwardly stood in silence for a few moments before she said, "yeah, I was just trying to see how you were doing because you always seem so alone and bored"
She seems to always take jabs at my preferences in work and free time activities. I didn't say anything because for now, I'm under my aunt and uncles roof and don't wanna make any waves. I've seen simple disagreements like this turn into full blown wars in the past with my mom and dad. I've never seen it happen here so I'm not sure if I could've spoke my mind in this situation without it turning into a 2 hour long argument but I didn't wanna find out.
Ultimately it has no real effect on my course but it's still annoying because she sees me as some broken man with no hope but that's simply not true. I may have struggled with alcoholism for 8-9 years and I may have very little savings, I may not have a girlfriend, I may not have my own house, but that doesn't mean I'm some lost cause or that I have no goals or desires.
Whenever she gets back from work, she finds me in my bedroom reading a book or studying Chemistry. She told me it's weird that I'm never watching tv and that it's always quiet in my bedroom. I mean, that's kind of how these 2 activities work. I can't exactly focus on my studies if I'm watching a movie too right? And then she finds me even more odd simply because I'm learning things about Chemistry without being enrolled in college. She asked me: "What are you studying for?....I didn't know you were enrolled in school?" As if I have to be enrolled in school to have an interest in these things. She then began to ask me what I wanted to become after college and I said: "I was thinking about becoming an aquarist or a chemist". Then she began to say: "You know nurses make lots of money....You should get into nursing, they make lots of money!"
I could understand her comment about me being alone but seeing how I barely started a new job and barely got released from an substance abuse treatment center (where I made lots of new friends through AA), I haven't exactly stabilized my finances enough for me to wanna go out and spend money on much. I do go out on walks and scooter rides when she's gone but she never sees me doing that because she's at work when I'm doing these activities.
I feel like she expects me to entertain her or something whenever she gets back from work. Like I have to be animated in some way for her to think I'm not depressed. It's always a relief when her husband gets back because then she just goes to him to talk.
I don't hate my aunt or anything like that, I just feel so misunderstood and that's what hurts. She pity's me for something I don't feel bad about. It'd be different if she pitied me after I broke a leg or got fired. But what the hell is so wrong about having an interest in science and books? It makes me want to take all of my books and papers and go study at the local library instead. That way, in her mind, I'll be doing something even though I was already doing something. Only difference will be location.
I plan on taking piano lessons once I get a few more paychecks, I'm gonna go learn some Brazillian Jiu Jitsu at a gym near me soon as well.
These things cost money and I'm just barely getting back up on my feet.
She seems to always take jabs at my preferences in work and free time activities. I didn't say anything because for now, I'm under my aunt and uncles roof and don't wanna make any waves. I've seen simple disagreements like this turn into full blown wars in the past with my mom and dad. I've never seen it happen here so I'm not sure if I could've spoke my mind in this situation without it turning into a 2 hour long argument but I didn't wanna find out.
Ultimately it has no real effect on my course but it's still annoying because she sees me as some broken man with no hope but that's simply not true. I may have struggled with alcoholism for 8-9 years and I may have very little savings, I may not have a girlfriend, I may not have my own house, but that doesn't mean I'm some lost cause or that I have no goals or desires.
Whenever she gets back from work, she finds me in my bedroom reading a book or studying Chemistry. She told me it's weird that I'm never watching tv and that it's always quiet in my bedroom. I mean, that's kind of how these 2 activities work. I can't exactly focus on my studies if I'm watching a movie too right? And then she finds me even more odd simply because I'm learning things about Chemistry without being enrolled in college. She asked me: "What are you studying for?....I didn't know you were enrolled in school?" As if I have to be enrolled in school to have an interest in these things. She then began to ask me what I wanted to become after college and I said: "I was thinking about becoming an aquarist or a chemist". Then she began to say: "You know nurses make lots of money....You should get into nursing, they make lots of money!"
I could understand her comment about me being alone but seeing how I barely started a new job and barely got released from an substance abuse treatment center (where I made lots of new friends through AA), I haven't exactly stabilized my finances enough for me to wanna go out and spend money on much. I do go out on walks and scooter rides when she's gone but she never sees me doing that because she's at work when I'm doing these activities.
I feel like she expects me to entertain her or something whenever she gets back from work. Like I have to be animated in some way for her to think I'm not depressed. It's always a relief when her husband gets back because then she just goes to him to talk.
I don't hate my aunt or anything like that, I just feel so misunderstood and that's what hurts. She pity's me for something I don't feel bad about. It'd be different if she pitied me after I broke a leg or got fired. But what the hell is so wrong about having an interest in science and books? It makes me want to take all of my books and papers and go study at the local library instead. That way, in her mind, I'll be doing something even though I was already doing something. Only difference will be location.
I plan on taking piano lessons once I get a few more paychecks, I'm gonna go learn some Brazillian Jiu Jitsu at a gym near me soon as well.
These things cost money and I'm just barely getting back up on my feet.
26-30, M
