i am desperately lonely, what am i going to do

it's getting pretty desperate for me really...i hate to sound like a 'stuck record' - but i've lived alone 20 years now in a little flat/ apartment....i live with mental problems, a personality disorder which affects my emotions/moods....i have no social support network apart from my elderly mother and father, but mainly my mother, and they live far away...so i can't just pop round for a cup of tea and a chat?.........i lost touch with my childhood friends.......i've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship , because of the sheer amount of problems i've had.

what am i going to do? i'm in my late 40s now.

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Bleed · 41-45, F

I work for a charity that supports and houses people like yourself. You could look into shared accommodation or supported living to help with the loneliness. We have independent flats too where I’m there for an hour each day incase anyone needs help or a chat.
How are you at going out by yourself? There should be mental health cafes and drop in sessions around you. They’re great for meeting other people with shared experiences.