history of my life

The child of a narcissistic parent learns early that love is conditional. They quickly understand they’ll only be loved for what they do, not who they are. They sense their parent cannot meet their emotional needs, so they learn to perform, excelling in sports, academics, or becoming their parents confidant and emotion support. The child abandons their true self, morphing into whatever version their highly critical and opinionated parent deems worthy. Without a genuine sense of self, they become addicted to external validation. This creates a life time pattern of people pleasing and self betrayal. Their relationships turn transactional, always based on what they can provide for others. Deep within lies a profound sense of betrayal. They were loved, yes, but unconsciously used by the most significant person in their world. The anxiety, anger, and pain remain buried. Until they’re finally ready to acknowledge these wounds.