I don’t know what to do anymore

I don’t know what to do anymore. Life is getting harder and harder to live and I don’t know what to do. I have to pretend to be happy because if I don’t people will ask why. And that’s the thing. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I’m sad. I have a good life. A house. Parents who love me. But I’m still sad. My boyfriend though. He’s going through stuff. He lost his mom to cancer a few months ago. He has no parents or friends. I have to pretend that I’m okay and I’m happy because I have to be. I shouldn’t be sad. I should be happy. And I just don’t know what to do anymore.