I Am Sad

I hate that I'm writing this, but I feel the need to vent to the ether. I hate to voice out loud that I'm sad, because I'm a perfectionist, and an optimist, who will never admit defeat and will always strive for more, and for some reason that little voice inside my head says that feeling sad isn't meeting with the expectations of my perfectionism and optimism. I don't know why I'm sad and it's not a constant feeling. Although I suspect even when I'm feeling happier, it's lying just underneath the surface simmering away. Objectively, my life is quite good. I've got no reason to really complain, and I'm well aware that many of the things that characterise my life, others would love to have. So am I ungrateful? Maybe. I tell myself that all of the time too. If it were up to me, I'd kick myself out of these feelings, and I often do manage to put them aside, or not focus on them. Yet they sit there in my peripheral vision. But like I said at the start, I don't know why I'm sad. Maybe it's because I've become a cynic. I've lost a belief in many of the things I once treasured, when I was younger, like love, morality and that people are basically decent creatures.