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"just leave the rest of me.."

I guess what's at the forefront of my thinking is simply, how do you learn to leave enough of yourself for you? I give a lot of my energy, my love, myself to others. I never leave enough for myself..I have a tendency to feel like I'm easily replaced. That's to do with trauma. I try to heal people because I'm broken myself..boost them up when they're feeling low. I find that I'm usually the one saving people, but I never save myself, nobody saves me. I'm trying to start training myself a bit to guard my energy, my heart a bit more. I need it, and I need to start loving myself more.
Notladylike · 36-40, F Best Comment
I think a good place to start is understanding it’s not an all or nothing thing. Chunks of downtime in your day is a good place to start. Trying to train yourself to be intentional with where you give your energy
huskyguy89 · 31-35, M
@Notladylike bit by bit. And try not to be frustrated with it not happening instantly. I understand. Give myself time, be patient.

I'm the same.

There's a label for it: Codependent - because we need others who are needy (dependent/broken, wounded, traumatised, addicted or in some way in trouble)
in order to feel worthwhile, enough, acceptable, wanted, needed and loved.

Trouble is, one doesn't always succeed in getting loved in return - oft times we get used, and in the process enable others to stay hooked in their addictions (processes or drugs).

I found CoDependents Anonymous very helpful. Listening to others with similar problems was quite and eye opener. Somehow one hears in more objectively, one is less lost in the woods, unable to see the forest in its wholeness because of the closeness, size and multitude of the trees.
Working the Twelve Steps via Pia Melody's book Codependent No More and its handbook with the aid of my sponsor helped me to recognise my boundaries and needs, gradually be able to discern when to help and when not, and create healthier relationships.

Other processes that helped me simultaneously were Thai/Burmese-style Vipassana meditation, Family-of-Origin group therapy, and face-to-face time with a psychologist (who used a mix of therapies).

I hope this might be helpful.
Happy to chat if you'd like.
Oh u need to look after u first.

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