"just leave the rest of me.."

I think a good place to start is understanding it’s not an all or nothing thing. Chunks of downtime in your day is a good place to start. Trying to train yourself to be intentional with where you give your energy

I'm the same.

There's a label for it: Codependent - because we need others who are needy (dependent/broken, wounded, traumatised, addicted or in some way in trouble)
in order to feel worthwhile, enough, acceptable, wanted, needed and loved.

Trouble is, one doesn't always succeed in getting loved in return - oft times we get used, and in the process enable others to stay hooked in their addictions (processes or drugs).

I found CoDependents Anonymous very helpful. Listening to others with similar problems was quite and eye opener. Somehow one hears in more objectively, one is less lost in the woods, unable to see the forest in its wholeness because of the closeness, size and multitude of the trees.
Working the Twelve Steps via Pia Melody's book Codependent No More and its handbook with the aid of my sponsor helped me to recognise my boundaries and needs, gradually be able to discern when to help and when not, and create healthier relationships.

Other processes that helped me simultaneously were Thai/Burmese-style Vipassana meditation, Family-of-Origin group therapy, and face-to-face time with a psychologist (who used a mix of therapies).

I hope this might be helpful.
Happy to chat if you'd like.

Oh u need to look after u first.

So much THIS 💖✨