Forgiveness is confusing for a robot
Needed info: since I was young I had a hard time understanding emotions, I didn't feel much due to depression, it make me understand feelings like a robot reading about them, never feeling them but understand what I should feel. I'm better now tho i still sometimes revert back to being like a robot, I can change how I feel in most cases. Honestly idk if I ever stopped being a robot or if I've just delusioned myself into feeling emotions, it doesn't matter tho, I'm fine with it
Because of how I am I had to learn about how people react with these emotions
And one of the things I learned is that when you get angry or sad, forgiving people can lead to repairing the relationship and or getting closer. Because of that I constantly forgave people even when I was told not to, to the point my best friend called me an "angel of forgiveness"
I realized not everyone can be helped with forgiveness, I knew that in the past but I just hoped people would realize I'm giving them a change and change. They didn't.
I decided to stop forgiving people.
A few days ago a friend made me cry and feel like horrible shit, I had texted my friends who knew them and they all were very angry
I was told to be distant and cold to that person and not forgive them, which is what I did (tried to do)
I'm not the best at ignoring people or being cold so I tried my best, I avoided hanging out with them and told my friends
But they both had a similar reaction
"Oh, why?" Why did I avoid hanging out with them? You told me to be cold and distant, is that not what I was supposed to do?
I don't understand, forgiving people gets you hurt but makes you a good person, but not forgiving people makes you seem evil. Why is it like this?
I always want my friends to tell me if I did the right choice since I can't tell what's the right and wrong path, but I don't think I'll ever get any approval
Dumb robot signing off
Because of how I am I had to learn about how people react with these emotions
And one of the things I learned is that when you get angry or sad, forgiving people can lead to repairing the relationship and or getting closer. Because of that I constantly forgave people even when I was told not to, to the point my best friend called me an "angel of forgiveness"
I realized not everyone can be helped with forgiveness, I knew that in the past but I just hoped people would realize I'm giving them a change and change. They didn't.
I decided to stop forgiving people.
A few days ago a friend made me cry and feel like horrible shit, I had texted my friends who knew them and they all were very angry
I was told to be distant and cold to that person and not forgive them, which is what I did (tried to do)
I'm not the best at ignoring people or being cold so I tried my best, I avoided hanging out with them and told my friends
But they both had a similar reaction
"Oh, why?" Why did I avoid hanging out with them? You told me to be cold and distant, is that not what I was supposed to do?
I don't understand, forgiving people gets you hurt but makes you a good person, but not forgiving people makes you seem evil. Why is it like this?
I always want my friends to tell me if I did the right choice since I can't tell what's the right and wrong path, but I don't think I'll ever get any approval
Dumb robot signing off
