The Silence Between Thoughts
One of my favorite things to do is watch the snow fall, slowly covering everything up. The skies make some of my favorite shades of grey. It's nice to spend this time alone, wandering through different thoughts. Sometimes having that time is nice, just for the clarity to feel emotions I don't always get the chance to stop and feel.
It's not always calming. It can feel like something is looming in the distance, a loneliness, a sadness, a wish that you were here to make it better. But it's okay to feel this because I will grow, and I will know that I can handle these things on my own. In turn, maybe I will help you too when you need it.
I am confused by you sometimes. I am confused by me too. I usually have all the answers, and I know how I want to be and what to do. Sometimes, with you, all my thoughts disappear, and in that moment in time, the only thing speaking is what I feel inside. It is a weird feeling to lose that control and to be completely surrendered to just feeling. I know I feel stupid, but I hope that isn't noticeable.
Still, though, it seems just so proper to be out in the cold with these thoughts, with the chill in the air and the sky falling around me, laying down a blanket of ice as if to reset the world, if only for a moment.
It is quiet.
It is nice.
