Its too soon and I am in no way ready for any romance, but thoughts will come and that is what this about.

Only Heroes Need Apply

The vultures always seem to gather
When I am the most vulnerable
But don't mistake this broken heart as a desperate one

Because, although you cannot see the scars
I have fought battles you know nothing about
And rose again from the flames like a Phoenix
Again and again until I learned to be strong

Only a fool would try to scale these walls or swim this moat
In hopes of something futile
There is no nail-biting princess here
Only a ravaged shell of a lady
Who will accept nothing less than a hero

And if there are no heroes left to scale the wall or swim that moat
She will spend her life in solitude
Rather than have her heart ripped from her soul again
For some coward wrapped up in charm

For I had learned to love again and lost
And will never love that way again
Unless some tender Hercules appears among the mortals

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

Biggest mistake I made was rushing into my last relationship (not this one).

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4 You cannot rush anything it turns out badly, I have done that too.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain Yep. A narcissist was able to get her hooks in me and that was BAD.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4 I did a summer of narcissistic online relationship, it ended badly and publicly, unfortunately.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain I avoid people with obvious issues like that because no good can come from it.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4 I do too I cut off a narcissistic nephew a few years back after he yelled in my face for something very trivial.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain I've been out of touch with my fiancee's narc mom for 6 years, but that's about to end, unfortunately. I can't tell her not to reestablish contact, but I think she is going to. That will result in lots of needless fighting that accomplishes exactly nothing, but it's her mom.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4 Do you have to respond? I refused to with the guy online.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain I don't, but my fiancee is concerned that something might happen to the mom and wants to be in touch. Mom is what I believe to be a covert type narcissist. I can already tell you what will happen. Once she calls, she'll be excoriated for not calling. Fiancee does a version of this and I call it the "sore winner" syndrome.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4 Maybe financee is an empathetic type, unfortunately they target sympathetic people.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain I know what you mean(the empath/narc dynamic), but I assure you that I am not always my fiancee's primary concern.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4 I am not really sure I understand the last comment?
The romantic in me wants to ask, shouldn't you be?
But then we all have many facets to our lives to focus on.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain Fiancee is ADHD. Any story she tells is 90 minutes long. Any complaint she begins continues after I solve it. It's nothing I understand except for the emotion dysregulation aspect of ADHD. ADHD people are awful at beginning something, then they have no OFF switch.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4 Oh, I see. Thanks for explaining.
My husband had traits of an autistic personality that was difficult sometimes.
I had to learn to realize he cared a lot, just wasn't always great with verbalizing it.
His actions spoke love, and I learned to accept that.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain There was talk of ASD, but I don't see it. Then again, I am not qualified. But I see her all the time. She might have dyslexia, THAT was a theory by a professional.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@uncalled4
My dad was most likely dyslexic -he never learned to read, however he was a brilliant craftsman.
I have older parents ( 1940's) and they really didn't know how to help kids then.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain It runs in the family. I don't think anyone juxtaposes letters but her brother had the speech impediment part of it. She has perfect diction but messes up the order of things, all kinds of information gets scrambled.

The brain really sucks. It's like these car companies that STILL can't build a good engine after 100 years.