It’s very exhausting to be the lone wolf type

I’m extremely selective with my friendships and I always have been. I value the deep connections that are based on trust and mutual respect and understanding and emotional connection. And being able to think alike and just have conversations that feel right and last for hours. I miss having that in my life terribly. I only have 1 friend to talk with but he lives in the UK and cares for his elderly mom so he’s limited with his time. I can handle just having my own company just fine. I’m not a codependent person but I truly miss having someone to have that deep closeness with that is so hard to find.

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riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

Everyone's looking for that my friend .
I can stay on my own for a few days but tolerance levels go up to look for connections again with people . I don't have too many friends either . I'm not selective with my friends . I'd invite anyone into my life if they show respect .
I was looking for that all my life .
I had a drink problem . I'm sober nearly 21 years and what a journey I had .
I was in relationships, break ups , friendships , broken friendships , nervous breakdowns , pyschosis at 21 to 24 , came out of it by Devine Mercy, wasn't by me , I had friends that passed away at a young at age . I traveled across the world , Met great people in my own native and met great people in other nationalities .
I ended up in a pysche ward that I thought I'd never end up in . I lost great jobs , I had great cars . Someone else planned my life and it ended up shattered , now I'm trying plan my own life , doubt creeps in cause I was so used to others planning my life . I trust myself and I don't trust myself . I feel I'm very grounded person ,at times I think I'm getting another breakdown .
The moral of my story is storms will come and storms will go ,calm will come calm will go .
At times I'm afraid of my own thinking , at times I think I have life sorted out .
The moral of the story Everyone's looking for connections 😊