Lions · 61-69, F
An eye opener post. Thank you for being open minded and smart in your analysis. I totally agree with the analysis that they make their decisions consciously and not other times.
Thank you for this. I think sometimes people assign labels way too fast. We live in a time where a label and understanding takes on way more than can be understood and people search for definitions trying to say, or wondering, if they meet.
I don't know the answer, but my guess is if they have those tendencies, it's most often not intentional and instead of how they are. They may not even want to harm you but how they respond harms you without them evening seeing. (It's they didn't see you)
They are for the most part not the wolf, but the wolf in sheep's clothing in how I understand.
I don't know the answer, but my guess is if they have those tendencies, it's most often not intentional and instead of how they are. They may not even want to harm you but how they respond harms you without them evening seeing. (It's they didn't see you)
They are for the most part not the wolf, but the wolf in sheep's clothing in how I understand.
Lions · 61-69, F
@awildsheepschase I agree with you.
Labeling can be limiting and confiding people in small places surrounded with a fence. I learned along the way and during my depression that labeling people is not the correct and healthy way to go.
Labeling can be limiting and confiding people in small places surrounded with a fence. I learned along the way and during my depression that labeling people is not the correct and healthy way to go.
Elisbch · M
I think we need to learn to realize that a narcissist can be both intentional and habitual instead of trying the one or other system. At least, that's how I see it
Agreed 100%.... (from my too lengthy of experience)
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
They observed in the brain of the narcissist that people with narcissistic personality traits (especially pathological narcissism) sometimes have structural or functional differences in the amygdala.
The amygdala in humans is responsible for human emotions, such as empathy.
reptiles amygdala is smaller. Because they are more survival driven and do not need emotions
I am like you. I think it is a mixture of both. I don’t feel bad for the narcissist and I do not feel sorry for the narcissist. I think that they do what they do on purpose, but it is because they do not understand the complexities of empathy or do I think that they have the ability to feel it in the first place.
The amygdala in humans is responsible for human emotions, such as empathy.
reptiles amygdala is smaller. Because they are more survival driven and do not need emotions
I am like you. I think it is a mixture of both. I don’t feel bad for the narcissist and I do not feel sorry for the narcissist. I think that they do what they do on purpose, but it is because they do not understand the complexities of empathy or do I think that they have the ability to feel it in the first place.
FoxyQueen · 51-55, F
@DeluxedEdition I think they have feelings, but I think they are more repressed than others. Otherwise, they'd be psychopaths, which can also be true.
But I think their emotional maturity stagnates at a level where it becomes extremely difficult to perceive any feelings other than one's own. I think they can acknowledge that other people have feelings. I believe they have the capacity to feel guilt when confronted with their behavior. So, it may not be full empathy, but on a stunted level.
Also, to experience emotions would cause them to have to reflect and acknowledge their behavior. If they don't do that introspection, then they aren't having to experience any negative emotions from their actions. When you confront them, they are placed in a position where they have to view the repercussions of their actions. Many times, so they don't have to acknowledge the hurt they caused, they will say things like, "It wasn't that bad.", "That isn't what I meant and you know it.", "You're taking this all too seriously.", etc. They have to downplay their behavior so they don't feel guilty, not to make any kind of reconciliation.
Narcissists are forever protecting their feelings and thoughts, often at the expense of others. They don't consciously think to themselves, "Hey, I'm going to do this highly manipulative or hurtful things so I can feel better." I think it truly is a type of habit that they can't break because they no longer acknowledge the behavior.
At least, this has been my experience with my mom and to some extent, my father. I don't think my mom have the conscious thoughts to do what she did. It was just all she knew that would get her what she wanted/needed. That doesn't excuse her behavior, but understanding it makes the hurt and trauma a little easier to deal with, at least for me.
But I think their emotional maturity stagnates at a level where it becomes extremely difficult to perceive any feelings other than one's own. I think they can acknowledge that other people have feelings. I believe they have the capacity to feel guilt when confronted with their behavior. So, it may not be full empathy, but on a stunted level.
Also, to experience emotions would cause them to have to reflect and acknowledge their behavior. If they don't do that introspection, then they aren't having to experience any negative emotions from their actions. When you confront them, they are placed in a position where they have to view the repercussions of their actions. Many times, so they don't have to acknowledge the hurt they caused, they will say things like, "It wasn't that bad.", "That isn't what I meant and you know it.", "You're taking this all too seriously.", etc. They have to downplay their behavior so they don't feel guilty, not to make any kind of reconciliation.
Narcissists are forever protecting their feelings and thoughts, often at the expense of others. They don't consciously think to themselves, "Hey, I'm going to do this highly manipulative or hurtful things so I can feel better." I think it truly is a type of habit that they can't break because they no longer acknowledge the behavior.
At least, this has been my experience with my mom and to some extent, my father. I don't think my mom have the conscious thoughts to do what she did. It was just all she knew that would get her what she wanted/needed. That doesn't excuse her behavior, but understanding it makes the hurt and trauma a little easier to deal with, at least for me.
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
On a serious note, living with people like this must be an absolute nightmare. Certainly, we can see when people get into power politically with these kinds of character traits. It is not a happy time. I've always thought that pitting one person against another was a sign of personality disorder, which I suppose narcissism is a form of.
Very thoughtful piece.
Very thoughtful piece.
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
I'm amazed you've got through this without mentioning me once.
Younameit · F
I think it’s both.
Infamous607 · 51-55, M
They act in a way that's natural to them. Like we all do.
For one of them it's kinda like a rat surviving in the city. It doesn't think about what it's next move is of wether it is ethical or not to steal food. It acts as it is natural to it. And being a rat is what comes natural.
For one of them it's kinda like a rat surviving in the city. It doesn't think about what it's next move is of wether it is ethical or not to steal food. It acts as it is natural to it. And being a rat is what comes natural.
Ferise1 · 46-50, M
How can you be sure though? Nobody thinks of themselves as narcissists.
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