Autumnal thoughts as the default mode
Whatever time of year it is, autumn is the spirit time for me, it is about dying gracefully, dying to what was always frustrating to you, of preparing for the final state whatever that is. We like to think we know already, but for me I want to retain some mystery in my outlook, which involves uncertainty and perhaps some darkness, some kind of fear, which creates in us a desire to right ourselves, for improvement.
One may have totally dispensed with the idea of improving themselves, it's too much of a headache like work, undesirable. To these kinds of people I say:
Remember and compare.
Remember how you feel at this moment, remember how you felt before, and think about where you want to be. If you do these things, you are already working towards improvement.
We have shift gears in ourselves, one is for forward, one backward, one for sitting still, and other ones for various speeds of forwardness.
Does one know how to drive oneself like a stick shift vehicle? I don't, but I desire to learn, in a relaxed way, on country roads where it's all deserted so no accidents can happen, alone, being alone is this.
Those reading this are like the horses galloping around the vast fields the road cuts through where I and my thought vehicle are training.
In pictures, too many pictures, in an autumnal mindset, one takes things as they come, there is also a little bit of devilry at foot, having fun you could say, fun on one's own terms, which will assuredly seem like toil to the horses who say neigh to your coughs and spurts on the road.
I admire those who know what their doing, with confidence who speak in a fluid flow of comprehensible and incredible breadth and depth of trajectory, of both knowing their own capacities and the world around them, will I ever be like that? Probably not, I will just be happy if I can at some point drive my thoughts from point a to b, or do some sight seeing, maybe try jamming a horse inside and go for a joyride down a city that never sleeps, and go inside a casino and blow all our money and laugh anyways, the rooms are so nice, soft beds, large liquor selection that we pay for by well constructed sentences and rationale.
You see this is a blending of picture and what the picture represents.
Don't be so self satisfied MrAlmostCrazy, it's nice you're in an optimal mental state at the moment, but by doing all this you aren't going anywhere, you're parked, and perhaps a snorting foaming about the mouth beast will come charging from the fields, and smashing into your thoughts vehicle, and thus introducing a situation out of a peaceful autumnal reverie. Dreaming on however can be so beautiful and serene that the whole im-pictured world could be in a fiery wasteland of woe, and you'd be absolutely oblivious, content with thinking autumn style, and isn't that what is actually taking place? The world events, that we are so strongly told conflicting things about, is like the fiery wasteland, and here I am having reveries, how dare I? But so it goes, sequestered safely in an abode where I don't enlighten my awareness of what's going on, I remember however what is happening, and I acknowledge it, it's ugly, and horrible. In Autumn one is not not knowing these things, but what one is more taken by is the manner in which one goes about their daily lives. By being constantly bewildered and incensed by what is happening elsewhere must only inform, not throw one into confusion and problematic living.
In the eye of the storm, in the heart of a hellish situation, one can still be centered within themselves, not losing their way, stillness within, becoming more rooted, more natural, and firm, confident and eloquent one day, for not to be praised or taken notice of, but so that one can function optimally, that is all I care for in regards to myself, to be able to function optimally under any circumstances that may arise. It takes patience like Bjork said in her song Big Time Sensuality.
One may have totally dispensed with the idea of improving themselves, it's too much of a headache like work, undesirable. To these kinds of people I say:
Remember and compare.
Remember how you feel at this moment, remember how you felt before, and think about where you want to be. If you do these things, you are already working towards improvement.
We have shift gears in ourselves, one is for forward, one backward, one for sitting still, and other ones for various speeds of forwardness.
Does one know how to drive oneself like a stick shift vehicle? I don't, but I desire to learn, in a relaxed way, on country roads where it's all deserted so no accidents can happen, alone, being alone is this.
Those reading this are like the horses galloping around the vast fields the road cuts through where I and my thought vehicle are training.
In pictures, too many pictures, in an autumnal mindset, one takes things as they come, there is also a little bit of devilry at foot, having fun you could say, fun on one's own terms, which will assuredly seem like toil to the horses who say neigh to your coughs and spurts on the road.
I admire those who know what their doing, with confidence who speak in a fluid flow of comprehensible and incredible breadth and depth of trajectory, of both knowing their own capacities and the world around them, will I ever be like that? Probably not, I will just be happy if I can at some point drive my thoughts from point a to b, or do some sight seeing, maybe try jamming a horse inside and go for a joyride down a city that never sleeps, and go inside a casino and blow all our money and laugh anyways, the rooms are so nice, soft beds, large liquor selection that we pay for by well constructed sentences and rationale.
You see this is a blending of picture and what the picture represents.
Don't be so self satisfied MrAlmostCrazy, it's nice you're in an optimal mental state at the moment, but by doing all this you aren't going anywhere, you're parked, and perhaps a snorting foaming about the mouth beast will come charging from the fields, and smashing into your thoughts vehicle, and thus introducing a situation out of a peaceful autumnal reverie. Dreaming on however can be so beautiful and serene that the whole im-pictured world could be in a fiery wasteland of woe, and you'd be absolutely oblivious, content with thinking autumn style, and isn't that what is actually taking place? The world events, that we are so strongly told conflicting things about, is like the fiery wasteland, and here I am having reveries, how dare I? But so it goes, sequestered safely in an abode where I don't enlighten my awareness of what's going on, I remember however what is happening, and I acknowledge it, it's ugly, and horrible. In Autumn one is not not knowing these things, but what one is more taken by is the manner in which one goes about their daily lives. By being constantly bewildered and incensed by what is happening elsewhere must only inform, not throw one into confusion and problematic living.
In the eye of the storm, in the heart of a hellish situation, one can still be centered within themselves, not losing their way, stillness within, becoming more rooted, more natural, and firm, confident and eloquent one day, for not to be praised or taken notice of, but so that one can function optimally, that is all I care for in regards to myself, to be able to function optimally under any circumstances that may arise. It takes patience like Bjork said in her song Big Time Sensuality.
46-50, M
