November 25, 2023
There is no reason to be here, which in a twisted logic sort of way is the perfect reason to be here, you just do your thing, and it should be just like that so that when your not doing your thing, you're not doing anything here, but having an addicting mind and habit, i devise all the time schemes so as to mold reality in a different way it is.
This "problem" in the hands of an expert wordsmith could be enough to work with to be engaging to some degree, but it represents a spiritual wasteland.
Even if i were good at whatever i do here, it would still be neglecting a higher purpose.
Could SW be a place to explore what i deem a higher purpose? Surely. But only if i were to be in the zone, i haven't been in the zone here for quite a while.
Now SW is addictive, for some it's the people and it's kind of the same for me too, but if i'm operating poorly, it's all bunk it's like i'm a defective, and the healthy me is using the defective open version as a puppet.
Being concerned at all about these sorts of things is a dead ringer of all that falls flat it could only symbolize something better if there was something, some level i could reach to, in the sense of quality of posts and comments, but i'm too realistic to see anything improving.
So then one thinks of having a no care attitude, not caring is like being cool.
Now cool as it is commonly conceived isn't what the zone is about, the zone is being able without extraneous effort to do things you are pleased with, it means that you got the basics all figured out, and the truth of the matter for me is that whenever i embark, begin a journey of learning, it is as if nothing in the least is figured out.
When it's like that you need space, and solitude. That is the reason behind needing a break, i've been wanting a break ever since 2016 when SW was born, and even before that when EP and AB were the playing ground.
What a long strange trip it's been, but the experience for me is more or less finished for a year or so now, running on fumes, nothing else to talk about than the usual, repeating myself over and over on things that at best should be mentioned just once, but like a crazy dullard i go on and on about them.
What i need to prove to myself is that i can be quiet and judicious, quiet for the most part, and if i am to do anything to be wise in some way, to bring something to the table so to speak. And in that way i can begin to feel good about what i do, but most of all all the things i'm not doing, which would for sure be not worth doing.
So, i felt like just explaining myself a little more, in the darkness illuminated by the kindle i shall read, i will refrain 99% of the time weaving it into a dull as dishwater tapestry, over time the content of the reading material will seep into what i do, and there will be cause for satisfaction then, for the timely will have supplanted the times up.
This "problem" in the hands of an expert wordsmith could be enough to work with to be engaging to some degree, but it represents a spiritual wasteland.
Even if i were good at whatever i do here, it would still be neglecting a higher purpose.
Could SW be a place to explore what i deem a higher purpose? Surely. But only if i were to be in the zone, i haven't been in the zone here for quite a while.
Now SW is addictive, for some it's the people and it's kind of the same for me too, but if i'm operating poorly, it's all bunk it's like i'm a defective, and the healthy me is using the defective open version as a puppet.
Being concerned at all about these sorts of things is a dead ringer of all that falls flat it could only symbolize something better if there was something, some level i could reach to, in the sense of quality of posts and comments, but i'm too realistic to see anything improving.
So then one thinks of having a no care attitude, not caring is like being cool.
Now cool as it is commonly conceived isn't what the zone is about, the zone is being able without extraneous effort to do things you are pleased with, it means that you got the basics all figured out, and the truth of the matter for me is that whenever i embark, begin a journey of learning, it is as if nothing in the least is figured out.
When it's like that you need space, and solitude. That is the reason behind needing a break, i've been wanting a break ever since 2016 when SW was born, and even before that when EP and AB were the playing ground.
What a long strange trip it's been, but the experience for me is more or less finished for a year or so now, running on fumes, nothing else to talk about than the usual, repeating myself over and over on things that at best should be mentioned just once, but like a crazy dullard i go on and on about them.
What i need to prove to myself is that i can be quiet and judicious, quiet for the most part, and if i am to do anything to be wise in some way, to bring something to the table so to speak. And in that way i can begin to feel good about what i do, but most of all all the things i'm not doing, which would for sure be not worth doing.
So, i felt like just explaining myself a little more, in the darkness illuminated by the kindle i shall read, i will refrain 99% of the time weaving it into a dull as dishwater tapestry, over time the content of the reading material will seep into what i do, and there will be cause for satisfaction then, for the timely will have supplanted the times up.
