You know how they say the funniest or the happiest people are often the saddest?

People often say that it's because they don't want other people to feel the way they do. But I think there's more to it than just that.

I think part of it is because sometimes that's the only worth we feel in ourselves. Like you can't be happy in your own head, so you make others happy that way you can feel it vicariously. You substitute that for self worth when you struggle to find your own.

For me personally, I'm not saying I'm funny or happy but that's typically how people describe me. I'm a supportive person. I'm there for anyone & will do whatever I can. I also joke around a lot. I'm always the person who helps make the mood light or gets people talking. I joke, I compliment people, I ask questions & listen. I don't think I'm entertaining but I laugh & put forth good energy around people. Nobody would even know that I'm actually depressed.

After figuring out a lot about myself lately, I kinda feel like I'm there for everyone except myself. I'm not happy with myself so I replace that with happiness for everyone else. I can have that happiness around other people because it's not entirely my own.

Then when I'm alone it's just me with my own thoughts 🤷 & I simply don't believe in myself enough.

Idk maybe it's just me but probably not. There's probably people that understand what I mean. You want everyone else to laugh & be happy because you simply can't find it in yourself.