Why are people so unwilling to cummunicate with anyone who doesn't understand something or agree with them? [I Want To Share My Feelings And Thoughts]

Like, if there's something I disagree with or I don't understand and I ask about it, very rarely do I get to have a conversation with them about it.
I'm just trying to communicate with people, maybe learn a thing or two, maybe they could learn something as well. And then there are things I've left unsaid which bothers me, especially if it would have made a difference. I just know from experience that longer replies are even less likely to get a response so I try and save some things for later. And sometimes I do understand and/or agree but I want to say something from another point of view as part of the discussion or to see how they'd feel about it.

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twiigss · M Best Comment

At my place of work, my boss and I were talking about the vaccine. I read a story on my google feed on my phone, and in it, somewhere, the sentence "may need another shot every 6 months to a year" and so he and I were talking about it.

He disagreed and said something about how there's information that shows that getting the two shots can last longer than a year, and then I said, I haven't heard that, or I haven't read that information, but it never got into a yelling match. It was basically I started the conversation with something I saw, then he added his input, I added input, it was a calm, back and forth.

The thing is for me, knowing when to end the conversation. In my mind I knew that I was just presenting what was written in a news article. It seemed like at some point he was bringing his feelings into the conversation and that's when I just said, yeah, and didn't add anything more, conversation over.

Online, you can have civil conversations but both people need to have a mature mindset. I often reply to comments on YouTube, but a lot of those comments are kids responding to videos. Even on YouTube however, I have had civil back and forth conversations. As you can see, I can't help myself, and I usually end up with a book as well 🤭

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@twiigss I think you've touched on an important point that seems often missed, that electronic exchanges are automatically somewhat impersonal character-strings, and worse when anonymous (or behind nick-names).

Face-to-face we pick up on reactions, clues to feelings, etc.

Nevertheless it is possible to have civil exchanges of views, or pointing out when the other is mistaken, on-line.

It may be easier in specialist fora dedicated to particular hobbies etc. Those seem anyway more tightly regulated by the moderators and by the users themselves. They also bar the more contentious matters outside of the site's subject, and trolls are likely to be sent back under the bridge before you can say "double-click on".

I formerly worked for a national organisation whose Int[u]ra[/u]net linking its many sites included a chat-room somewhat like this, divided into various categories: vehicles, hobbies, home-&-garden, private wants/sales ads, etc. As well as the normal rules of courtesy - and unlike SW, no sex! - we had to use it under our real names.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

A good question.

I often wonder why some people use a public discussion-group yet cannot cope with being questioned, disagreed with, asked for evidence or shown to be mistaken.

SirenCalledLuce · F

Some people online are just here to push an agenda, and to them you’re either onboard or the enemy. It’s pathetic.

checkoutanytime · M

It's odd, I agree. I get people that disagree with me, but it often is just them disagreeing by insulting my perspective rather than a debate of differing opinions.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@checkoutanytime I think some might be sincere in their views but genuinely find it very hard to express them properly, and even harder to comprehend others.

Redstar · 36-40, M

@ArishMell Yeah but that's no excuse for being a dick.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@Redstar No comment.

Nanori · F

HOW DARE U QUESTION MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

Curious, how do online conversations to you compare with in real life, this way?

Redstar · 36-40, M

@thewindupbirdchronicles Not well.

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@Redstar Then your real life conversation are better?

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