I Am Fighting Suicidle Thoughts

Sometime I stare at the belt I wear, debating whether to hang myself by it, or when I open a bottle of Motrin, to grab two for a headache, I stare into the bottle and think about taking every single pill in the bottle and just ending it. I hate high places, because I look over the railing and think "I could jump now." I hate that my mind puts me through this hell, I don't want to feel like this. Some days I'm ok, but other days... not so much.