I sympathize with you. This is a problem much bigger than your home situation. This is a sociological epidemic: lack of social support. In an ideal world, there would be ample time for you and your partner to accomplish the basic tasks necessary for survival (food, shelter, etc.) and that includes "spare time" to take care of oneself and rest. Work would have to be done, but there would be networks of people helping each other for mutual benefit. With community trades for food and goods, with sharing the responsibility of child-rearing, without the grinding monotony of a 9-5 job, there would be time to live outside of the workplace and focus, more than racing to get the minimum done. This modern lifestyle is not forgiving to our nature. We still have to evolve as a species, to adjust to modern technology. We are living in quite an advanced world compared to the lives of our ancestors and unfortunately we are feeling the challenging effects of change. Not to mention our obligations to corporations, paying the price of individualism. We are still very much animals, with animal needs, like sunlight and exercise and other animal things. We need each other for support.
Maybe be a bit more forgiving. She is your partner, she's on your side, going through the same shitty reality. You are both saddled with responsibility and the best thing you could do in this moment, when you most want to snap, is offer warmth. You will both be happier if you reach to each other for support rather than further fuel the negative waves. Try it next time... Look her in the eyes, grab her hand, ask for a couple of minutes together. Listen to her, acknowledge her. Then express your frustrations with your work. Hug it out. And maybe you'd both be able to renew hope in these chaotic times.
