Has Therapy Ever Made You Feel Worse?

I’m having a hard time with the shame of having a mental illness.

I hate that I need medication just to get through the day. Even though I know it’s an illness, it still makes me feel weak and broken. That shame sits with me constantly, no matter how much I try to reason my way out of it.

I recently started talk therapy again, and honestly, it’s been brutal. I walk into sessions already exhausted and leave feeling worse, more exposed, more raw, like I opened things I don’t know how to close again. People say that’s part of healing, but right now it just feels like pain with no payoff.

Opening up has never been easy for me. Vulnerability feels unsafe, but I’m trying anyway. Mental illness was never accepted or talked about in my family, and I carry a lot of childhood trauma that changed how I see and feel everything. Working through it feels overwhelming, like I’m too late or too damaged for it to really help.

I don’t feel hopeful. I mostly feel tired and ashamed.

I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through this feeling worse after therapy, ashamed of needing meds, stuck in this heavy middle. Did you ever get through these feelings? Or are you still here too?

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Cigarguys · 41-45, C

At first yes but you have to give it time. You are working with rare employees and that doesn't always feel good. But that should get easier each time you go. If it doesn't in a few weeks you may need a different therapist.

Self care isn't easy and it can hurt in the beginning but it does get better

sree251 · 41-45, M

@Cigarguys

Self care isn't easy and it can hurt in the beginning but it does get better

Are you speaking as someone with mental illness?

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@sree251 yes many, depression, anxiety, OCD, tourette's and an eating disorder

sree251 · 41-45, M

@Cigarguys Is depression a disorder? Life is hard. Depression is part of life.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@sree251 Depression is a common, serious, and treatable mental disorder (also referred to as a mood disorder or mental illness) that goes beyond normal sadness. It affects thoughts, feelings, behavior, and physical health, requiring professional treatment.

sree251 · 41-45, M

@Cigarguys I don't think depression is treatable anymore than hunger is.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@sree251 it's not it's a life long illness but I've found medications and therapy that has helped me keep it under control for a few years now

sree251 · 41-45, M

@Cigarguys I don't consider depression an illness anymore than hunger is. I live with it.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@sree251 ok good luck with that.
But even if you don't see depression as an illness, I struggle with many others.

sree251 · 41-45, M

@Cigarguys

ok good luck with that.
But even if you don't see depression as an illness, I struggle with many others.

Life isn't easy. I feel better that I am not suffering alone and have you to share that misery with.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@sree251 you have a funny way of showing it. I feel like you are making light of my struggles with depression. And I wasn't talking to you anyway, my comment was for the og poster who is a friend of mine in here and we talk often.

sree251 · 41-45, M

@Cigarguys

you have a funny way of showing it. I feel like you are making light of my struggles with depression. And I wasn't talking to you anyway, my comment was for the og poster who is a friend of mine in here and we talk often.

Making light of your struggles? Do you think I don't go through the same pain? When it comes to suffering, I don't make a distinction between your struggles as opposed to my struggles. We all suffer the same pain. I listen to you and see the same misery I am going through.

Cigarguys · 41-45, C

@sree251 I never said you didn't. I was simply commenting to my friend and giving her advice. It never had anything to do with you

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