My therapist told me that the way people perceive us, or whether they like or dislike us, is out of our control

And I strongly disagree. I gave her an example of the way public figures manipulate their image to be perceived a certain way, to gain votes, or favours, etc...., and I told her that in a capitalistic world, it's very important that I understand how to do this.

And she told me that it's not true???
Huh??? You want me to pay you 11dollars per session to lie to me just because you don't have answers to my questions??? Don't bulls.hit me lady!

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hartfire

I stand closer to your therapist's view.
She's not talking to you as a public figure.
She's talking about the closest relationships in your life, your life-partner, family and friends. WIth these people, whom we see almost every day under all kinds of conditions, we need to be able to relax and be ourselves. In order to do that and yet also get along well, we need to develop the skills of insight into ourselves, empathy for the feelings and needs of others, become good listeners and communicators, and we need to feel good will and warmth towards them.
We can influence another's feelings through how we behave, but we cannot [i]control[/i] their feelings, nor do we have the right to try. If a person tries to control another, it soon creates intense resentments and the relationship is doomed to misery and failure.

People aceept or reject influence according to their values, attitudes, past traumas, fears and unconscious triggers - and most off us react more according to our inner realities.

The way PR and media influence the public is an extremely shallow process which depends entirely on the celebrity or power-figure[i] operating from a distance[/i].

PS $11 per session? Seriously? That wouldn't pay a cleaner's wage! I'd check her qualifications.

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@hartfire a man flashing, and a man understanding how negotiations work on order to for instance, sell a product, or market their business, or to present themselves to people an a networking event, are very different things. Human attitudes and behaviours DO influence us, and it is important to understand the art of doing so. Yes, you cannot influence 100% of the people, but just enough to stay afloat and not be kicked to a side as a loner.

hartfire

@assemblingaknob
Yes, but[i] influence[/i] is NOT the same thing as [i]control[/i].
People literally choose what influences to accept or ignore.
Short of threatening someone with something dire, like a gun or death or injury to a loved one, one cannot force anyone to do anything.

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@hartfire ah I see where I made a mistake conveying my thoughts. Thank you