I Have Social Anxiety
I don't know how to act. I used to be better. Sometimes I am good at people stuff, but other times talking to them cripples me. That's more so than not. I used to be a cashier. I got used to talking to people and getting to know them. I didn't really have a choice, well to cashier. Now I'm a stalker. I've gotten worse at people stuff. I avoid them and don't want to talk, but when I get anxious I get really hyper. On the bright side, I don't care what people think at those moments.
Some of the stuff I'm reading now, say that accept that it's anxiety and I'm anxious. Don't judge myself for it. Ok, that's good and all, but how I act?!?! I don't know how exactly to over come it. When I get into situations, I get bad anxiety and freeze up. I don't know how to overcome that.
I'm guessing it originated when my friends would yell at me for doing simple things, that there was nothing wrong with, but they blew up on me. One example, I told my old "friend" that her pants looked like spiderman. We were swimming and I didn't have my glasses on. They were mickey mouse. She got super mad, yelled at me, and then hit me in the throat. When I tried to protest, she got angrier and I didn't want the situation to escalate further so I shut up. I was too scared of what her reaction would be. Or one of my other friends harassing me about what I wore for a month or more. I put up with it that long before I gave in and changed how I dressed. I'd had enough of her threatening to light me on fire to burn the clothes I was wearing. I wore a solid colored shirt and kakies. There was nothing wrong with that.
I now understand that it doesn't matter if people get angry with me, but that doesn't stop me from being crippled with anxiety and fear at social situations. I can't read exactly what people think and it drives me mad! I know that if I make people mad, it doesn't matter. By that I mean random people that don't like my personality or a customer that's mad, because I told them the rules. I need to learn to be more assertive. I'm at an exact loss of how to do this.
I know a lot of these things, but I don't know how to DO them....
Some of the stuff I'm reading now, say that accept that it's anxiety and I'm anxious. Don't judge myself for it. Ok, that's good and all, but how I act?!?! I don't know how exactly to over come it. When I get into situations, I get bad anxiety and freeze up. I don't know how to overcome that.
I'm guessing it originated when my friends would yell at me for doing simple things, that there was nothing wrong with, but they blew up on me. One example, I told my old "friend" that her pants looked like spiderman. We were swimming and I didn't have my glasses on. They were mickey mouse. She got super mad, yelled at me, and then hit me in the throat. When I tried to protest, she got angrier and I didn't want the situation to escalate further so I shut up. I was too scared of what her reaction would be. Or one of my other friends harassing me about what I wore for a month or more. I put up with it that long before I gave in and changed how I dressed. I'd had enough of her threatening to light me on fire to burn the clothes I was wearing. I wore a solid colored shirt and kakies. There was nothing wrong with that.
I now understand that it doesn't matter if people get angry with me, but that doesn't stop me from being crippled with anxiety and fear at social situations. I can't read exactly what people think and it drives me mad! I know that if I make people mad, it doesn't matter. By that I mean random people that don't like my personality or a customer that's mad, because I told them the rules. I need to learn to be more assertive. I'm at an exact loss of how to do this.
I know a lot of these things, but I don't know how to DO them....
