Sorry about you losses .
I had a similar experience. I had a friend that died when she was 38 back in 2010 . The girl I was with dumped me in extraordinary fashion . Got bullied bad , wasn't expecting none of this all in the space of 6 months and end up in a pysche ward for 6 weeks after that , came back out , then tried to hang myself . Went back into a pysche ward again for another week .
Roll on the years . I never felt stronger that I ever do now than I did before , and I tell you another thing I done nothing . It was God that done all the work to get me where I am now .
You be the same . You'll grow even stronger .
Don't give up . If you give up , life will try and make you give up . That's my experience