I Have Social Anxiety

I hate parties. I really do. I'm an introvert and an HSP and I have social anxiety issues. When I'm at a party, it's always too loud with too many people talking at once and too much stimulation. I just can't handle it.

The older I get, the less willing I am to subject myself to that sort of thing. I've tried to force myself to like them. I've tried to fit in and mingle. I'm kind of an done trying. It's just not my thing. I'm ok with it. I dont feel like I'm missing out. I just grow tired of others expectations of me to go to them and put on a happy face. I'm just really REALLY tired of doing that.

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SW-User

They’ve got to back off eventually.🤔 Unless you keep giving in and going to them.

SigmundFraud · 46-50, M

@SW-User yeah, that's true. I am not asked to go to too many these days. So usually I just suck it up and go.

I remember in college, I had this really outgoing roommate. He wanted to go to a party every Friday and Saturday night and he would convince me to go. We were pretty much best friends back then and I was still "mr.people pleaser" back then, so I always went along.

I'd end up going and then he would just kind of start mingling with everyone and I'd follow him around and I felt like his little shadow. He rarely acknowledged me or talked to me. He was more I to chatting with everyone else, which is fine but I felt kind of awkward following him around.

So I would usually find a way to break away from him for a bit and then just try to socialize on my own (which usually didnt go well) or try to blend in to the wallpaper (which was my preferred option). Most times, I'd feel so out of place and awkward that I'd just sneak out and head back to the dorm on my own.

Later, when my roommate would come home, he'd be pissed that I left. It always bugged me. He wasn't ever really interacting with me or including me anyway. I never understood why he cared if I was there in the first place. I often wondered how long it took him to realize I even left.

It was an odd situation / friendship. I ended up finding a new group of friends that preferred to stay in and just hang out in a more low key setting.

SW-User

I know that feeling. I drank a lot at parties to “help.” Then even that stopped helping. I don’t care for alcohol much anymore. Nowadays, I go for the food. No following anyone I know; it’s [i]straight[/i] to the only reason I’m there. 🍽

Your roommate obviously didn’t get that you weren’t going to suddenly become a social butterfly. Some people think it’s just shyness that a person gets over if they interact enough. That’s not how introversion works. 🤷🏻‍♀️@SigmundFraud

SigmundFraud · 46-50, M

@SW-User I'm the same way. I used to turn to alcohol as well but, like you, it doesn't seem to help anymore. I definitely also find myself chowing down on food. I'll find myself eating and realize that I'm not even the least bit hungry. 🤨 I figure I eat to kind of distract myself or comfort myself through it all.

1234567890a

I can understand this too. Different now. Straight to the 🥘. I enjoy the company as honestly as possible but it’s maybe one or two others. Anymore than that is overload. @SW-User

SigmundFraud · 46-50, M

@1234567890a I'm all about the cheese. 🧀🐭

1234567890a

Lol 😝 @SigmundFraud