I Have Social Anxiety

I don't quite remember how old I was when my social inability came into play...must have been around high school age.
Didnt really have to make friends, my boyf at the time was the class president. So I was attached to his hip. And on and on...fast forward alot of years...
I am Team Petrified when playing w/ even my older sister. And my family. We grew up together and still I'm unable to form an intelligent thought or say something that I won't be ashamed of. Really really difficult when it comes up in conversations. That's why I choose not to talk, look or smile around fam. Its too depressing