I know I’ve spoken so much about this on here, i’m sorry! I don’t want to be boring or annoying!!

I know so many of you have given me advice over the years and i’m so grateful. I just need to vent, I think.
I live in pretty much constant fear of bumping into people that I bullied in school. I live in a fairly small town and it’s something that can and does sometimes happen. It’s the most embarrassing situation to be put in, I hate it so much. My fear anxiety has caused me to drink alchohol to escape it, which has led to issues like bedwetting, being brought home drunk by the police and my friends. It’s really had an awful effect on my life. I know it’s all my fault and I know I should apologise to everyone, but I’m just so scared.
I’m sorry! I’m just having a moment, I don’t want to get on anyone’s nerves here.

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Boeing · 36-40

okay crazy idea... what if... you take these people, one by one... Begin with the easiest. And try to reach out and apologize, through a written text, you can make it easy and comfortable for you - as easy and comfortable as it can get. ... ?

You know I am writing this to you since I have had this experience with this friend today as you read about it...

Strongtea · 22-25, M

Hey, thanks. That’s a good idea. I have done it with one person, but it was probably not the best person to start with. I think I will try with the girl that I wrote about in my other post. I feel that I can talk to her about how I made her feel after what happened to me. Thankyou again. @Boeing

Boeing · 36-40

@Strongtea maybe write to her what you want to tell her instead of meeting her in person first.
It can be a first step to break the ice and give a seed to her mind of forgiveness.

Later, after perhaps few months, you can reach out and try to meet her in person.

I am telling you how things unfolded with this guy for me, first he send me a message. I was shocked to receive it. I have even written here I remember a post saying things like "this guy who has been a total jerk to me in the school in China, send me a message to apologize after years..." but that was my initial response.
Forgiveness grew within me. I spoke to another friend about him apologizing, and I mellowed slowly and definitely the apology made me feel good. I wrote to him how "I accept your apology and I didn't know that I needed it, but apparently I did"

It is funny because I wrote a post couple of days ago and I said how "I am open to receiving apologies" and I did receive him today! :)

Good luck to you, I believe, if you go slow and have little expectations, ...

Strongtea · 22-25, M

Thanks, I do know where her family live so I could post her a letter. Thank you so much for telling your story. @Boeing

Boeing · 36-40

@Strongtea I will be around to read your journey, yes, write that letter...

Or perhaps a text message through some social media if you are using, that also could work and be more casual... you know better what fits your situation <3