The person that I bullied in school confronted me in front of my friends

It was so embarrassing as this group of friends knew nothing about it. They haven’t answered my texts this weekend, I’m upset and really hate him for doing this to me.

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hartfire

Karma is the law of cause and effect.
We might not know how or when the effect will come back to us,
but it always does.
Lesson: avoid unnecessary words and actions and which could have unpleasant repercussions.

Strongtea · 22-25, M

Yes, I wish I had done. Now I can’t face my friends@hartfire

Nevaeh0081 · 36-40, F

@hartfire Goodwords

hartfire

@Nevaeh0081 Thank you.

hartfire

@Strongtea It would be a sad thing to lose your friends over past misbehaviours.

You could try contacting the person you bullied and tell her you want to apologise. Ask to meet. Give her the chance to tell you in detail how she felt at the time, how it affected her relationships with others in that place, and how it affects her now. Tell her you're incredibly sorry you bullied her, she did not deserve it, no one does, and that if you could have that time over you would not bully anyone. If she asks (but not otherwise because it should never sound like an excuse), tell her why you did it. Go deep. Be honest about what was happening for you in your background and inside you.

Then you could try contacting the friend you think least judgemental, tell him/her you feel deep regret and sadness about your past bullying and that you'd like to meet to talk about it. Tell him or her about the bullying, what you did, why you did it, and how you feel about it now. Tell her/him that you've apologised to the victim and that you've learned from your mistakes and would never bully anyone else. Say you'd hate to lose your friendships now because of such awful behaviour in the past.
He/she might forgive you on the spot, or might need to take some time to think about it. Either way, if this friend forgives you, then it's likely the others will too.

Everyone makes mistakes. If we have a conscience it's natural to feel shame, regret and remorse. This is also how we learn to become a better person. Healthy shame says, "I did something harmful": toxic shame says, "I am a bad person". Attitudes, thoughts, emotions and behaviours can change. Our past is past. It's who we are now that counts.

And I hope you find the courage to face your friends. The friendships could become deeper and richer if together you can get through this issue.

I hope this has helped.

Strongtea · 22-25, M

That is a massive help, thankyou so much!!!@hartfire

hartfire

@Strongtea You're welcome.
And thank you for your feedback.
I feel very happy that I could help.