I was a bully

I was a bully at school and bullied one person for a couple of years. Apparently I made his life a nightmare he told a girl I was dating (they were both in the year below me.) I came home from university at Christmas last year and saw him, he’d started going to the gym, he literally picked me up and threw me in a huge pile of mud. All his friends and even random people who at first were concerned about me, but then changed their feelings when people heard why he did it, cheered and clapped as I got up covered, with my outfit totally ruined. An older lady came over to tell me that I deserved it and that it was a really good thing to see as her daughter had been bullied in school and she felt helpless. I can’t stand those people, they made me feel so stupid. I cried for days afterwards, I was so upset. Do you think he was right?
Everyone thinks I deserved it and that he’s so great as he didn’t hit me, but no one thinks about how horrid the experience was for me.

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Boeing · 36-40

I am kind of shocked to read people's comments here in this thread, makes me reconsider my idea of SW altogether and life altogether. So our sense of justice needs attention and our sense of forgiveness needs attention.
I have always chosen to be forgiving rather than to be just. I might have been mislead. I am having such a confusing day...

I think you are brave for keeping this up.
I wasn't as brave as you and I deleted my account, where I went on confessing my own stories.

Apparently I need to do more forgiving within myself. I still carry guilt I don't admit.
I see deeper layers again, how deep does that hole goes.

Thank you for all the effort you put into understanding and being brave to admit things and change.

Strongtea · 22-25, M

Hey thanks! It really means a lot. I was a really different person then and I was looking to blame other people for what happened to me and I think people picked up on that in the tone of how I wrote this and maybe how I was when I first joined up here. I think I needed to be told I was wrong and a horrid person because I needed that to change. Don’t be to shocked or angry at anyone, it was a long time ago and I was acting much different on here. Be your forgiving self, you are such a cool person. Thanks for having a great attitude, it is so tempting to remove these posts and just write things that make me look good, but I feel it’s important to show the real me, even if it’s very embarrassing and means some people choose not to be friends with me. @Boeing

Boeing · 36-40

@Strongtea I admire that attitude and bravery in you, thank you.

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