I Hate Bullies

How do you think the school should handle this?
A student intentionally injures and causes bruising to another student. It was done to show the victim what would happen to them again if they don't fulfill a specific request the bully has made that has to be done in a specific amount of time. The bully has also threatened they will hurt the victim again if they tell anyone about it.
Believe it or not these two students are in Kindergarten. The demand is for candy. Crazy huh?
My daughter is the victim. She was waiting in line after recess with this other boy next to her. He gave her an "indian burn" on her arm. He told her she better bring him candy by Monday or he will do it to her again. He also said if she tells anyone about it he will do it to her again.
I contacted her teacher who contacted the principal. I haven't heard anything back yet about it. Her dad asked me if there was any bruising. I didn't even think of that. When I looked at her arm I was shocked to see two light blue bruises on the inside of her elbow.
I really feel bad for this other student. Something is either very wrong with him or something is very wrong in his home.
At the same time I don't want him around my daughter anymore.
I don't know how the school will handle this. He's just a little kid but something has to be done.

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Gentletickler

It's odd, I had this happen to my daughter. When it happened, I took my daughter over to the child's house and knocked on the front door. My daughter's mom was Australian (she left year's ago) and so my daughter is a beautiful light brown complexion. She could be one of 10 different ethnicities. Aboriginal, Spanish, Brazilian, Mayan, Native American, Hawaiian, Egyptian, South African, anyway ultimately an earthling. 😂 But I digress. At any rate, the little boy's father answers the door. He's 5'10", 6' about 180 lbs. well built. 😯 I'm 6'4", about 225 lbs. Afro American, was a professional athlete back in the day. 😳 I tell the Dad that his son struck my child and I'd like to speak to him. The Dad looks confused and calls his son to the door (Notice he didn't invite us in). My daughter and his son are both about 7.

When the son gets to the door I say to him "YOU hit my daughter in the FACE!" And show him the welt under her eye. I tell the boy "YOU will NEVER touch her again!"...and I turn to the Dad and say "Because IF HE DOES, I will come back here and beat you until you need to go to the EMERGENCY ROOM....and THEN I will beat your child! Do you understand me?!?" 😡

The look of terror in the Dad's face was startling. He looked down at his son and asked him "Did you hit her?" The son looked down at the floor. He asked again "DID YOU HIT HER?" The son nodded his head just before the back of his Dad's hand came crashing down on the side of his face. 😨

It wasn't hard to figure out where the son's behavior had come from. 😒 The next day (Monday) I walked my daughter into the classroom and advised the teacher of what had happened. She was horrified! 😱 As I got ready to leave, I saw the little boy. I went over and asked "You DO remember ME, right?" The look of terror on his face was again startling. I got down on my knees so we could be sort of eye to eye and I said "You know, there's NEVER a reason for one person to HIT another. We come to school to learn to use our words, not our fists." You could see him trying to process it and you could actually SEE the light go on. He started to cry and grabbed me around the neck and started to cry "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it!" I let him finish having his cry and then went over to the teacher with him, so that she could help comfort him. I heard that later, the little boy told the class that he had hit my daughter and that he was wrong and sorry. ALL the other children comforted him for being brave enough to admit his mistake and apologize. It's NOT how you expect it to work out, but it was worth the effort. 😊 The end.

Gentletickler

Yeah, I understand. It's interesting that the "trauma" of my daughter being hit in the face is totally discounted, though. 😔

SmartKat

You are an awesome dad!

SmartKat

Cry me a river. The bratty boy should have thought about that before bullying GT's child.

I bet he doesn't bully anybody now. Problem solved.

SmartKat

And when that poor little innocent 7 year old later goes on to hurt more children, in worse ways than an Indian burn? When he ends up causing someone a permanent injury or killing someone?

Bullying needs to be nipped in the bud. Period. Let's have a little less moaning about what a tough life the bully must have, and a little more empathy for his victims.

SmartKat

Kids like him have enough people wanting to coddle them, so I will leave the coddling to others.

I don't go around hassling anybody in the first place. If I have no reason to mix it up with someone, I don't.

But if this 7 year old waste of space (or anybody else) EVER does something bad to me or somebody I care about (such as my nephew) - there will be hell to pay, one way or another. I don't tolerate bullying; and if nobody else will put a stop to the bullying of a child I care about - I will not hesitate to set the bully straight.

SmartKat

It's not "bullying" to stop a bratty child from hurting other children.

In my experience, the adults are mostly useless. They ignore the concerns of the victims, and the bully learns that he can get away with anything.

Bullies need to be STOPPED. Just telling them to "tell Johnny you're sorry," usually doesn't change a thing.

DJsmum2006

You are amazing!!! Thank you for sharing. Not sure if i could have told the father that is beat him senseless then his child, but the message got through. I'm sorry he hit your daughter. I believe bullies are bullied at home. A boy in my sons class slapped a girl in the face and told her she had to obey him. He comes from Muslim family where his father does this to his mother.

Gentletickler

My point in ALL of this was to help the DAD understand that I was prepared to go to jail for assault if his kid EVER TOUCHED my child again. I "get" your point "Tulip" and I "tried" to minimize the event by "getting on my knees" to talk "WITH" the child, NOT TALK AT HIM.

What I was trying to communicate was that kids reflect what they see in their daily environment. That his DAD was OK with backhanding him tells you "ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW" about "WHY" he thought it was OK to hit someone else. 😳

At the end of the day, I don't give an "F" about HOW disillusioned his kid is! His kid hit mine in the FACE, unprovoked. 😧 In a different environment (read: the hot spots of the Middle East), there would have been no discussion whatsoever! 😦 Fortunately, we live in a less "aggressive" environment, but PLEASE don't think even for a SECOND that there are not multiple resolutions to this issue that are FAR MORE OMINOUS than how this one worked out. I "get" that you think there was another way to address this issue "without" talking with the Dad and the child. It's ALSO why we have children today, that think they can do whatever the "F" they want to without any consequences. I didn't have the conversation with the child to scare him. I had the conversation with the DAD to help him understand the CONSEQUENCES of condoning bullying! 😠 I don't "try" to be a bad ass, but I'm not going to let ANYONE piss down my kid's back and then try to tell ME it's raining outside! 😧

DJsmum2006

I agree with everything you said.

Peacebabe

Dude, you sound so ignorant. Let's just hope that you don't have any kids of your own.