I Am Antisocial

You may not be antisocial, but rather, NON-social. It's not that you would RATHER not be with people, right? There's a common denominator to much of what you're dealing with. You seem to be bringing into the present a lot of protection - even hiding, no doubt as a reaction from what's happened to you in your past. There are ways to work through the effects of your history, and when you do, you may find you're much more social than you think you are (and more trusting).

I cannot tell.you how much I can relate mainly in real.lofe. I am so socially awkward I cannot even explain

That's ok :) Just take things slowly and you'll figure things out

I actually avoid talking to people unless I -need- to normally.

Would you like to change that or not?

That's quite ok