Have you ever felt this?

Yes…

yes, for quite a long time i did. like an alien. i have ALWAYS felt like an alien who does not belong here.

I'm not sure if that is how I would describe it. I am aware most people don't have the time of their lives and those who do, a lot of things they have they had to work for and sacrifice something for.
The problem is...I feel like I run on different software and that is the root of most problems I have. I can't apply approaches most people show as the way to live to my own life. Yes, I'm floating mid air with no idea where to go but it's not because I don't know who I am and what I enjoy, I just feel terribly limited by society. It's like a huge monster I somehow have to live in symbiosis with, otherwise it will devour me. I feel like I have to wear a mask and suppress my nature, to forget my dreams and search for something tolerable instead. And as a result, I fill the void with small pleasures.

My life.

stop thinking so much and get busy. just do your chores or hobbies or whatnot lol. maybe reach out to some friends or to find a new friend. plan somehting to do like something special even if you have to do it alone

Yup. I've always felt like an observer of life but when I'm more depressed it's a floating feeling, like none of it matters, why do I need answers