I cannot do anything about your depression and I shouldn't feel like it is my responsibility.

You need to get yourself out of that. You need to want it, will it, decide it for you. Otherwise you are just going to drain whatever is left of my energy and then ungratefully curse me out for being the only one who cares. My care will never be good enough because it is not care you wish for.

Watching my own mother give up on life until her very last moment was bad enough. I do not think I wish to live through that again..or can. I for one wouldn't surround myself with others just to allow them to see me suffer. I would self-destruct alone but I guess that is just me. Perhaps because I have lost plenty of souls and I know the pain of bottomless helplessness and true seperation.