I feel horrible for my sister
She has two bachelors degrees in criminal justice and psychology and is struggling to find a decent job or any job even bottom of the barrel at all. She worked so hard at school to achieve graduating in three years while working. She worked two part time jobs and went to school full time and even took summer courses. She feels really bad about herself and is $80,000 dollars in debt which my parents are helping her pay time in ten hour shifts. She needs to be active and engaged with her work. Plus she was dealing with a stalker and date rape back in Tennessee. She is a tough cookie. She has looked everywhere for work and put out applications. my dad suggested she take the exam for becoming a probation officer or a social worker. I don’t think she wants to be a social worker or a probation officer but I wonder what she would say. She says unless her employer helps her pay for it , she cannot afford to get even more debt with a masters degree. She would take a masters degree in psychology or criminal justice. Also, promotions were mentioned at work for her but never happened. I feel like she would make a good forensic psychologist, crime analyst, or a private investigator. But she is stuck in a catch .22. Like many university graduates. She may need additional training to work in criminal justice field. I even asked her if she would consider being a paralegal but she is not trained for that. Maybe a certificate program that would only a few thousand to help her specialize. She checked into liberty university criminal justice program I think but thought for now it’s not doable since the masters in total not including course supplies would cost somewhere between $20,000-$25,000. She did everything she was supposed to do. Now she was even willing to get work in her old cafe that she worked at in the summers before she graduated. But after a day or two of retraining, the new manager gave her the runaround. She didn’t screw up her life like I did. She at least finished her education and was with a job right out of college. She feels like a loser and failure sometimes. She is turning 23 in October. I wish I could help her more…
Now when I go back to school for university studies, I’m going to make sure I have a few vocational certificates or diplomas so I can have career skills to have stable work and can make a decent income while I finish college. I am not taking out any more student loans. Even if I have to take only one or two courses at a time the point is I finish college for myself. I am going to look into scholarships for older adults returning to school and grants and scholarships for people with mental health disabilities. I want to have my higher education. I have only an associates degree and it’s not enough for me. I should have stayed in school the first time around. If I stayed in school in the foreign languages and modern languages department I would be working as a translator or interpreter. No taking a year off then switching majors to psychology.
I started at a community college, then transferred over to a four year college after finishing my associates degree.
Actually if I were to do it all over again, I would have gotten certified in a diploma or certificate program first for shorter term career training in a high demand field first one that I could do remotely with a flexible schedule and worked for a couple of years then gone to university for my bachelors and masters degrees programs online self paced or asynchronous so I could have a decent income while attending school part time and not done minimum wage jobs. Hindsight is 20/20. I also would not have been in jobs that I was poorly suited to and made me depressed and drained. And maybe had I just stayed in school ( university) and gotten career training first, I probably would never have had to apply for supplemental security income. And even if I stuck with taking certificate of completion career training even after university like skillcrush.com ( visual design and web development basics called the break into tech program) or done proofreading academy.com now called knowadays.com ( proofreading course when that was all that was required) now they are a proofreading and editing courses required to get the work trial guarantee. They also have courses in freelance writing ( blog posts and articles), copywriting, formatting, fact-checking, etc. if I finished my programs even when I got flustered or confused On some concept I would have had career skills and a decent job. I probably between everything could be bringing home several thousand dollars a month if I worked close to full time like 25-35 hours a week and was paid well. That would be enough while living with my family. Or I could have done a barter work for free or reduced rent accommodation to live on my own. Housesitting, living with an elderly person ( home share), rv motorhome to travel the world or at least North America , houseboat, tiny home, done a part time job that came with housing on top of my part time remote career, built a cob or abode cottage or many other options. I could have done a part time remote career and worked as a entertainer on a yacht or cruise line to live there for a few months to a year however long the contract would be. If I was good at teaching I could have taught English abroad after my bachelors degree and had housing as part of my job contract and lived abroad for a year or two. But also I wish I never developed mental illnesses. I could have been functional and thriving as an adult. I wish I had been naturally. Conscientious and organized. part of not doing well with everyday tasks and having to work extra hard to remember to do them is part of being an infp. I have to remind myself on calendars and to do lists to get things done otherwise I forget. I want to be multilingual and it’s easy to learn foreign/modern/ancient/classical languages as well. I kept old appointment cards with new ones in my wallet and didn’t clean out my wallet so I got confused which one was the. Most recent. Organization is a skill I have to update constantly.,I. Write usernames.,,websites, and passwords in my red notebook labeled for.usernames and passwords and internet information. I use my folders to divide up financial and medical information and everything else., I still have old receipts that I have not written in my accounting and bookkeeping binder and have not thrown away., I fall behind on things every easily. I don’t check my email everyday to keep up and delete emails I don’t need. For now, I need my parents help to stay on track but someday I will be self sufficient enough to do everything on my own. Me growing up and maturing and taking care of myself is just taking longer than it does for most people. I didn’t take an extra interest in learning. About paying bills, learning taxes, and dealing with insurance as a young adult. I know how to clean and do laundry but I don’t know how to cook. I used to help my parents with grocery shopping. But I haven’t done that in a few years. I never learned how to budget or balance a check book. I never developed a credit history and I wouldn’t even know where to start. I haven’t cleaned my room in months. I never learned household shopping and maintenance. I have a lot to learn though I am 32 years old. I now have a debit card again which gives me a little more independence. My social security payments starting next month will give me help with paying for my upkeep and maintenance in my household. I have mental health disabilities of severe depression, anxiety, ptsd, and schizophrenia. I don’t know how to fix things when they break. Part of me worries I will forever need someone to look after me and check up on me occasionally and to help me understand certain things. I am smart on academic subjects not so smart when it comes to practical matters and adulting.
I have a lot to learn but hopefully by the time I am 40-45 I will be completely independent. I may have to live. In supportive housing for. The mentally ill as a transitional living space while I learn to live on my own. I need to learn to dispense my own medicine and not rely on my mom. And dad to dispense it for me.
I have to learn to wake up early everyday and not be sad and lazy and lounge around in bed. Two weeks ago I was starting to do better and getting up between 12 and 1:30 pm but now I went back to my bad habits of three to four pm. My bed is just so cozy and comfortable and I often do not want to face the real world. I would just rather dream about movies, tv, book stories, myself as a character in a story, and dream about my ex boyfriend Sujeet. I know it sounds pathetic and I sound like a spoiled brat. I just wish I was dead sometimes so I would stop struggling and being a burden on my family.
I feel terrible for my sister too as I want her to be happy and finding a career that she enjoys. I never wanted my sister to struggle.
Now when I go back to school for university studies, I’m going to make sure I have a few vocational certificates or diplomas so I can have career skills to have stable work and can make a decent income while I finish college. I am not taking out any more student loans. Even if I have to take only one or two courses at a time the point is I finish college for myself. I am going to look into scholarships for older adults returning to school and grants and scholarships for people with mental health disabilities. I want to have my higher education. I have only an associates degree and it’s not enough for me. I should have stayed in school the first time around. If I stayed in school in the foreign languages and modern languages department I would be working as a translator or interpreter. No taking a year off then switching majors to psychology.
I started at a community college, then transferred over to a four year college after finishing my associates degree.
Actually if I were to do it all over again, I would have gotten certified in a diploma or certificate program first for shorter term career training in a high demand field first one that I could do remotely with a flexible schedule and worked for a couple of years then gone to university for my bachelors and masters degrees programs online self paced or asynchronous so I could have a decent income while attending school part time and not done minimum wage jobs. Hindsight is 20/20. I also would not have been in jobs that I was poorly suited to and made me depressed and drained. And maybe had I just stayed in school ( university) and gotten career training first, I probably would never have had to apply for supplemental security income. And even if I stuck with taking certificate of completion career training even after university like skillcrush.com ( visual design and web development basics called the break into tech program) or done proofreading academy.com now called knowadays.com ( proofreading course when that was all that was required) now they are a proofreading and editing courses required to get the work trial guarantee. They also have courses in freelance writing ( blog posts and articles), copywriting, formatting, fact-checking, etc. if I finished my programs even when I got flustered or confused On some concept I would have had career skills and a decent job. I probably between everything could be bringing home several thousand dollars a month if I worked close to full time like 25-35 hours a week and was paid well. That would be enough while living with my family. Or I could have done a barter work for free or reduced rent accommodation to live on my own. Housesitting, living with an elderly person ( home share), rv motorhome to travel the world or at least North America , houseboat, tiny home, done a part time job that came with housing on top of my part time remote career, built a cob or abode cottage or many other options. I could have done a part time remote career and worked as a entertainer on a yacht or cruise line to live there for a few months to a year however long the contract would be. If I was good at teaching I could have taught English abroad after my bachelors degree and had housing as part of my job contract and lived abroad for a year or two. But also I wish I never developed mental illnesses. I could have been functional and thriving as an adult. I wish I had been naturally. Conscientious and organized. part of not doing well with everyday tasks and having to work extra hard to remember to do them is part of being an infp. I have to remind myself on calendars and to do lists to get things done otherwise I forget. I want to be multilingual and it’s easy to learn foreign/modern/ancient/classical languages as well. I kept old appointment cards with new ones in my wallet and didn’t clean out my wallet so I got confused which one was the. Most recent. Organization is a skill I have to update constantly.,I. Write usernames.,,websites, and passwords in my red notebook labeled for.usernames and passwords and internet information. I use my folders to divide up financial and medical information and everything else., I still have old receipts that I have not written in my accounting and bookkeeping binder and have not thrown away., I fall behind on things every easily. I don’t check my email everyday to keep up and delete emails I don’t need. For now, I need my parents help to stay on track but someday I will be self sufficient enough to do everything on my own. Me growing up and maturing and taking care of myself is just taking longer than it does for most people. I didn’t take an extra interest in learning. About paying bills, learning taxes, and dealing with insurance as a young adult. I know how to clean and do laundry but I don’t know how to cook. I used to help my parents with grocery shopping. But I haven’t done that in a few years. I never learned how to budget or balance a check book. I never developed a credit history and I wouldn’t even know where to start. I haven’t cleaned my room in months. I never learned household shopping and maintenance. I have a lot to learn though I am 32 years old. I now have a debit card again which gives me a little more independence. My social security payments starting next month will give me help with paying for my upkeep and maintenance in my household. I have mental health disabilities of severe depression, anxiety, ptsd, and schizophrenia. I don’t know how to fix things when they break. Part of me worries I will forever need someone to look after me and check up on me occasionally and to help me understand certain things. I am smart on academic subjects not so smart when it comes to practical matters and adulting.
I have a lot to learn but hopefully by the time I am 40-45 I will be completely independent. I may have to live. In supportive housing for. The mentally ill as a transitional living space while I learn to live on my own. I need to learn to dispense my own medicine and not rely on my mom. And dad to dispense it for me.
I have to learn to wake up early everyday and not be sad and lazy and lounge around in bed. Two weeks ago I was starting to do better and getting up between 12 and 1:30 pm but now I went back to my bad habits of three to four pm. My bed is just so cozy and comfortable and I often do not want to face the real world. I would just rather dream about movies, tv, book stories, myself as a character in a story, and dream about my ex boyfriend Sujeet. I know it sounds pathetic and I sound like a spoiled brat. I just wish I was dead sometimes so I would stop struggling and being a burden on my family.
I feel terrible for my sister too as I want her to be happy and finding a career that she enjoys. I never wanted my sister to struggle.
31-35, F
