I have so much to fix

Im In such a situation I feel like I ruined myself in my teenage years . I think Ive been neglecting myself and my mind for so long , like using my phone too much and isolating myself . And In the present Im paying for it by making mistakes and accidentaly being incovenient at work . I think I will never find anyone who is also sufferening from this and understands . My mind became so slow and I dont really pay attention to the background of my work , only what people directly tell me , I also feel easily pressured and I get even more paralyzed when so. I just want to get out , Im tired of feeling uncomfortable and being a incovenience for others , God I fail at such easy things .I want to leave and heal at home , or while im at a less demanding job , but my parents wont let me leave , also even if I suck my boss seems to want me to keep working , at least until shes finally able to hire someone new (wich , if nothing happens , will take some months ). Now im feeling worse because a superior coworker dislikes me because I make lots of mistakes and I keep asking them for help when im insecure . I want to open up to mother but Im too ashamed .Despite having good people by my side at work , I hate there because of my inner problems . I cant even feel truly happy when I get my payment ,I dont want money I want to go and get help. I dont even know exactly what getting help would be but I dont think working there will be good for me and the others. I feel terrible in my own skin, I wish everything never happened , everytime I remember my shit I cringe .

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JestAJester · 31-35, M

In fact quite a lot of us feel this way. Difference is you've discovered it sooner than many of us. I have atleast 10 years on you and only recently have I begun to do something about it. And I'm not even that old but feel like I got a late start. But better now than never. And let me tell you the solution is not easy but worth it. There are many different facets and outlets you can explore but I would advise not to tackle too many at once or else you will become overwhelmed. I struggled with confidence, ego, self image, short temper, insecurity, easily influenced and coerced by people, making friends, loneliness and solitude, and a whole plethora of emotions. I have manage to find solutions to many of them, not at all just yet. And I work on them as often as possible. I wasted my teen years and college years too and deeply regret it. Made some bad decisions and I'm paying for them. You have the benefit of youth. Also you're extremely young, I doubt you've done anything that no one else your age has done. Learn to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and never repeat them. Create goals for yourself. Also, discover yourself. You don't know yourself as well as you think you do. I would advise keeping a journal and writing as often as possible so you always have something to reflect on. Listen to people too. Bounce your ideas off of other people if possible. Youtube and spotify have lots of videos and podcasts from people dealing with the exact same issues. They may not necessarily give you the answers you're looking for but they do tell you where you can start. Because most of this legwork has to be done by you. If you can't take the initiative to right the wrongs in your life, they will snowball and become far worse. As Jordan Peterson would say deal with the dragons in your life before they grow beyond your capability.