being a "but i feel bad" person ruins me

This used to be me when i was younger, still sometimes is but I shake it off when I realise I don't actually feel bad, I'm just resorting to the agreeable and accommodating blueprint instilled in me. Everytime you say this to yourself you're basically saying their needs come before yours. You're neglecting yourself.

Look at it this way. It's a teaching moment for them to be accountable for themselves. You're coming in the way of both yours and theirs self development when you decide it's your job to protect them from being confronted with their actions.