Oh sweetheart . ....it starts from within - it truly does! If you cant see your own worth and love even parts of yourself.....how on earth is anyone else going to see it ?
Do you think that if someone else loves you its going to magically make you love yourself? I did that . I doesnt work . You end up making them responsible for your happiness - amd that's not fair .
If we spend our lives looking at what we don't have, we leave no time to contemplate the things that we do.
You have : lovely skin You have : your intelligence You have : the use of your body You have : a great heart You have : beautuful eyes You have elegant hands You have : a sense of independence ....and this is only what i see from SW - im sure there is so much more you have.🤗
You gotta stop waiting for outside change - and kick off CHANGE within yourself.
Ill use my recent life as an example of this:
I left domestic violence - i was poor, i went back to renting, could only work part time as i was a fucking mess: my family was now fractured, my whole life id worked decades for - gone. I kinda wanted to just die.
Now, 5 years later - i still work part time, im still kinda poor😏....but here i am knowing myself like never before. Feeling gratitude for things i once took for granted. Realizing that even though i lve learned to love myself - i actully need to change my attachment style if i want any sort of funtional relationship in my future. That even after all these years - i need to grow as a human....as a soul.
Im using this solo era of my life to REALLY look within who i am - and start tweaking and improving myself FOR MYSELF - NOT ANYONE ELSE. For self care: health both inside and out. Mind and body.
Outside stuff wont fix you. It wont be the happiness you imagine it is - and why wont it ? ..... because you will still be the same on the inside. Itll be good for a while, a distraction ...but eventually your own inner discontent will seep into those external things ....and the unhappiness will be greater - external AS WELL AS internal.
I cant tell you how to do this. But you do need to step off this unending hamsterwheel of self deprectiation and " why cant i have this or that " thinking.
Even thin, rich, beautiful people live in inner misery.....for the very same reasons you are : they cant see what they do have. And enough is never enough for them to be happy.
And that's because happiness or even better: contentment - comes from within....NOT without.
And ....if i was to be honest - complaining about your life amd yourself isnt attractive and just sets you up as a target for emotional predators - you are acting the victim.
If you keep feeling like a victim to your own life -you will never be your own savior.
There are no prince charmings. And even if there were - no one can save your own self worth except you .
Im sorry to be brutal. But i wish someone had helped me understand this decades ago.
If you want change - YOU must change.
There is a saying : " if you want to have things you've never had - you must be willing to do things youve never done"
Also ....one last thing i CAN recommend: *Stop telling youself this rubbish* - the more you think certain things - the more you train your mind to believe them :
So if you keep thinking all this - you manifest it in your life....its a cause/affect type thing.
Please be kinder to yourself. Treat yourself as if you were your best friend. 💚💜
Six years of these posts. Unfortunately you’ve turned your misperception into a self fulfilling prophecy. I specifically use the word “misperception” because when you look “out there” you’ll see plenty of couples who are far from being supermodels. But unless you find a way to turn your warped thinking around, you’re very likely gonna continue to be “right.”
@OlderSometimesWiser 6 years and not much has changed unfortunately. I have tried to put myself out there but nobody's really looking for someone like me
@IAmNothing You need good professional help to start changing your self image. Otherwise yes, you’re likely to remain in the same headspace, convinced of your misperception. And if you’ve tried therapy, try again because obviously it wasn’t a good fit if you’re still this way after six years.
Just curious if you put yourself out there in terms of pursuing hobbies, volunteer work, adult education, places where the emphasis isn’t on dating but being with like minded people.
@IAmNothing that is still a kind of rescue : you are waiting for something outside yourself to happen to be a catalyst for change.
Waiting for stuff to happen is a fools game. - If you want to go out for coffee with someone - ask them🤷♀ You might get shot down - you might not. And even if you get shot down, you tried and were courageous. ... you didn't die. Nothing devastating happened. - you might even be courageous again🤗
Change is hard. It needs bravery. It needs stepping outside our comfort zone.
But those steps can be small ones . In fact small steps are the best.
@IAmNothing you don't see yourself in a good light. Nobody else is going to. Like someone else said, 6yrs of the same posts, this is a pattern. Look within.
@iamnothing No matter how "ugly" you are, there is someone out there equally as "ugly", and interested in finding someone the same to love. Sorry for using the word ugly but I'm assuming it's what you mean, how you feel. Even if you aren't. We might not think you are ugly. Just using the word. I hope you find someone.
