i just feel so....sad.

It's confirmed now. I have major communication issues. I think I am not well-suited to have a job. I don't understand the complexity of work place dynamics. I don't know how I got so far. It's getting too much now. It's starting to have consequences. My being aloof, my being unaware, now has a price. I struggle so much with this. It's exhausting. I wish I could decode it. I am far too slow for this world.

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PepsiColaP

I am like this too. Especially working in an environment where literally 99% of my coworkers are native,lovely ppl ,but I know I come across as slow when I don't react to teasing and banter bcs..I don't get it or take it literal, and my face is generally unexpressive . I feel like alienated socially. But genuinely doing a job that requires knowledge/skill/results etc can help, if I focus on that enough, results do eventually come , and then respect is earned and most importantly I feel good for staying true to myself and focusing on what matters. So I hope u don't stop trying and you see the fruits of those efforts eventually 🫂

turningthekeys · 31-35, F

@PepsiColaP okay. yes. you're right. THanks for that perspective.
I still need to work on my skills. I'm just a work in process.
yes, i can totally relate to not understanding banter. But I was recently also told I come across as if I'm cross questioning, even though I'm just trying to understand something and don't know much. it's just so confusing to be misunderstood like that, because I can't seem to convey myself properly I suppose.

PepsiColaP

@turningthekeys I do that too I think it's because when I ask smth I am very forward BCS in my head it's a genuine question so I don't preface it with something or adjust the tone of my voice to be softer so I know from the way ppl respond, it sometimes comes across as questioning a specific procedure/action or person etc so I try not to take it personally now and just think that thats not my intention and I should just be more mindful . I know it's hurtful but honestly sometimes the best way to deal with it is just not see it as a reflection of you but just differences in how everyone processes things and communicates and see it as an opportunity to be more mindful of it in the future. It's hard but honestly it's better than hating yourself over it ,which I know is what I do

turningthekeys · 31-35, F

@PepsiColaP 🫂 thank you. i feel so much better reading your comment. i think it's true it's how it's processed and everyone is so different that misunderstandings can be inevitable.