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41-45, M
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CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@MyMonstersAreReal Recognize that in an apology you MUST make the other person the main character of the story.
That means your intentions and explanations are not important. What is important is what the other person feels. You have to validate what they feel, communicate that you understand, and then tell them what steps you will take to do better next time.
The way that people fuck up apologies is by over-explaining themselves, minimizing the feelings of the other person, or apologizing for the wrong thing. Own what you did, accept the harm it caused, understand the pain the other person feels, and communicate that.
That means your intentions and explanations are not important. What is important is what the other person feels. You have to validate what they feel, communicate that you understand, and then tell them what steps you will take to do better next time.
The way that people fuck up apologies is by over-explaining themselves, minimizing the feelings of the other person, or apologizing for the wrong thing. Own what you did, accept the harm it caused, understand the pain the other person feels, and communicate that.
