Making new friends is hard in 2024

I have no friends at all. I've tried everyway you possibly can, going to activity groups, trying to start up random conversations with strangers, contact old peers that I used to be in contact with, but it always just fizzles out for whatever reason. I don't think I am that boring. I try my best to be engaged, listen and also talk but it seems like I am not important enough to maintain a connection, just a mere good conversation. Don't get me wrong I appreciate a good conversation at any time but some times I wish there was more to it then that. Am I the only one who feels this way? I just want to laugh, hang out and be myself with someone again if that is even possible today. Am I being too entitled?

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iamnikki · 31-35, F

Definitely feel the same way.
People who are still friends with folks from HS are lucky.

I've come to learn that I've never had real friends. All I've ever had was situational friends.
You shared classes and went to school with these folks so you were "friends".
You lived on the same street with these folks so you were "friends".

Once middle/high school was over, so was the "friendship".

Once people moved from home one by one, the "friendships" were gone to.

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SW-User

@iamnikki Almost like "situationships" but for friends. That does make sense. I agree, most people just enter and exit your lives like a video game. They automatically get weeded out of your life as people and circumstances change. Some stay some don't. I guess with the unlucky few, none stay which is rare but happens. Yes, some times people's only attachment to someone might by the situation itself as you said "situational friends." It takes a strong friendship/bond to last thru different stages of life. This kind of best friendship is extremely rare I feel today. I feel our brain has been socially reengineered to make other people disposable and social media has lowered the average attention span especially in young people. I really do not feel I even live on the same universe as most people. Everyone is in 2024 and beyond but I feel my brain is still stuck in 2011 and I'm constantly in a culture shock at how fast everything changes. The social norms change every second and its seem that I cannot keep up

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@SW-User yep that sums it up. Kinda makes me nervous for when life really gets rough. We aren't meant to handle everything on our own.

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SW-User

@iamnikki Yes, it makes me nervous as well. I am scared to develop dementia when I get older because genetically I have no predisposition for it in my family tree but I heard it can be developed thru prolonged loneliness as it can cause significant cognitive decline. That is such a scary thought but also a realistic possibility.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@SW-User I've heard that puzzles and things can help with that, unless I'm thinking of Alzheimer's

SW-User

@iamnikki I have not heard that but maybe. From what I heard, it was doing challenging things that can decrease the chance of cognitive decline like playing chess with someone but I guess puzzles could help to.