Answered prayers and promises made
I’d prayed for relief this round of enhertu, and it looks like I got it. I was still exhausted and in some pain, but the nausea and some of the things I go through (yet can’t talk about because they’re disgusting) didn’t hit me this time.
I was still exhausted yesterday, but woke up this morning feeling different. That “fever break feeling” without ever having had the fever.
So I can make it to my nephew’s birthday dinner tonight, I believe. 🥰 Aw. Praise the Lord.
But this also means it’s time for me to get back to work on mom’s house. And I did promise (to myself and maybe a bit to God) that the next thing I tackle would be a particular section of the house that really stresses me out. It’s so bad, and I’ve been putting it off. I want so much to just hire someone else to do it, but she won’t let me. It has to be me. Tomorrow is the day if I really am feeling better (feel like puking just thinking about it though 😭).
[i]Do you want this house clean?![/i]
Yes… 😢
It’s up to me, but not the way I would do it (immediately and quickly. I’d get dumpsters and haul everything out in one shot). But I have to tiptoe and move slowly. I have to learn to be respectful and gentle. And I’ll be honest; gentle is not in my nature.
And you know what? I see that she’s trying a bit the more I clean a little here and there. She’s mopped the house of her own accord twice in the past month. It couldn’t have been mopped the entire year I’ve been gone. You could tell. I pray her heart is healing now. That’s what my concern should be instead of the fact that this house is a hazard. She’s depressed and grieving, and she needs so much help but is too stubborn to let people help her. We’re both overwhelmed.
It’s so much harder for a heart to heal, and it’s crazy how the damage manifests in different ways in someone’s life. But my way of doing things wouldn’t have coaxed her into taking care of the house again. (It’s like Atreyu screaming at Artax to keep moving, and tugging frantically at his lead. It didn’t help, and the horse died. That’s this situation with my mom. I can’t force her to get out of the danger)
We could have done it my way from the start, and she might have just gone right back to hoarding new things. Maybe with this way, slow and stressful to me as it is, will help her get out of this extreme depression.
I was still exhausted yesterday, but woke up this morning feeling different. That “fever break feeling” without ever having had the fever.
So I can make it to my nephew’s birthday dinner tonight, I believe. 🥰 Aw. Praise the Lord.
But this also means it’s time for me to get back to work on mom’s house. And I did promise (to myself and maybe a bit to God) that the next thing I tackle would be a particular section of the house that really stresses me out. It’s so bad, and I’ve been putting it off. I want so much to just hire someone else to do it, but she won’t let me. It has to be me. Tomorrow is the day if I really am feeling better (feel like puking just thinking about it though 😭).
[i]Do you want this house clean?![/i]
Yes… 😢
It’s up to me, but not the way I would do it (immediately and quickly. I’d get dumpsters and haul everything out in one shot). But I have to tiptoe and move slowly. I have to learn to be respectful and gentle. And I’ll be honest; gentle is not in my nature.
And you know what? I see that she’s trying a bit the more I clean a little here and there. She’s mopped the house of her own accord twice in the past month. It couldn’t have been mopped the entire year I’ve been gone. You could tell. I pray her heart is healing now. That’s what my concern should be instead of the fact that this house is a hazard. She’s depressed and grieving, and she needs so much help but is too stubborn to let people help her. We’re both overwhelmed.
It’s so much harder for a heart to heal, and it’s crazy how the damage manifests in different ways in someone’s life. But my way of doing things wouldn’t have coaxed her into taking care of the house again. (It’s like Atreyu screaming at Artax to keep moving, and tugging frantically at his lead. It didn’t help, and the horse died. That’s this situation with my mom. I can’t force her to get out of the danger)
We could have done it my way from the start, and she might have just gone right back to hoarding new things. Maybe with this way, slow and stressful to me as it is, will help her get out of this extreme depression.
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