Living in my best friend's shadow

I have this best friend of mine since grade 6 and now we're in grade 9, I never felt this feeling when we're in elementary but now that we're classmates I started to feel like I'm living as her shadow. She does something effortless and she get to have praises while me all I do is try hard to get high remarks and I don't even get praised or get credits for doing my best. I know it sounds kinda pathetic but I just wish everyone treats me like how they treat her. I'm only noticed when they need my help. Don't get me wrong but I don't hate her because she didn't do anything wrong and I don't want her to do less just to make me feel like I'm not "less than her", It's just sad that we get the same compliment like "you guys look alike" or "both of you are smart" but then I only get that when I'm with her like I don't get praises when she's not around. I'm stuck feeling like this "insecure" or "jealous" I hate it. I treasure her and I don't want her to know that I feel this way when I'm with her, I don't want to hurt her. I may sound like I'm hungry for attention but that's not what I meant. I always question myself like what's making people treat me like I'm not there? "Is it because of my looks?" I wouldn't even deny that she's literally pretty— she has clear skin, fair skin, and a beauty that people couldn't resist. Like she can make people like her by just you know her looks, pretty privilege exists and I don't want to use that to her cause I know she's working hard too. I also work hard and I don't get that. She handles situations gracefully while me who's clumsy and just want to hold shts together and I can't do it. While writing this makes me wonder that I need to fix myself or change my mindset. In the end, I just want to be treated fairly that's all:(

I'm sorry to those who'll get to see this and you can't understand what I mean because I have trouble of explaining things but I still hope some of y'all understandd🫶🏻

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

U need to focus on the friendship not on comparisons.
My best friend and I almost fell apart because of this. Because he's very social and I would keep wondering why other people are so drawn towards him and not to me. I'm also mostly disliked by the people that really vibe with him. And that would cause fights between us as I couldn't understand why I wasn't as likeable as him.
But since I've started being more conscious about our bond, I don't bother external factors anymore. We don't fight because of other people. Why should the actions of other people ruin your friendship????

sadeYvs

@assemblingaknob thank you so much!! You're right, I should! I'm just too blind by my insecurities that there's more to it that I should be thankful for, I can't afford to lose her. I have to focus on doing my best than focusing on people and pleasing them that may cause the ruining of our friendship. I'm proud of her accomplishments and she deserve the recognition she gets and I deserve it too but that's not important as long as I'm doing my best. Thank you again, you made me realize that the friendship is more important than pleasing other people and being insecure because she gets the things I want. Thank youu🫶🏻🫶🏻

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@sadeYvs yes, in the end, both of you have different strengths and weaknesses. Don't compare. Don't want the things others have, look into yourself instead and appreciate yourself. You are an individual. Not a robot that's a copy of someone else.