How would you help a friend who no matter what positive happens to them, always feel like they don't belong?

@uncalled4 Can you elaborate?

@Queendragonfly If I knew more about your friend's situation, I might be able to.

@uncalled4 Okok. Some context. He has PTSD. Childhood abuse. Abusive ex. Strict parents with high demands and cares about status.

He has been very isolated and lonely as younger but now he has a great job, where everyone compliments him appreciates him, giving him leader positions, a side job as a piano teacher, he has friends he play sports with, or just hang out or party with. He has a social life. But everytime he is in a social situation. He don't feel that he belongs. And he just feels sad. And alone.

@Queendragonfly I'm not a professional, but that sounds like social anxiety, probably fueled by the PTSD and parental crap. Is he on meds? I mean, he's undoubtedly in search of parental approval, which he may or may not get, and in turn when he enters a room, it's as if his parents are judging him, as he knows nothing else and has not resolved the issues with them.

@uncalled4 I don't expect you to be a professional. I believe we all have answers others seek. No matter what we are on paper.

[quote]when he enters a room, it's as if his parents are judging him, as he knows nothing else and has not resolved the issues with them.
[/quote]

This is an incredible perspective!! I bet it's a big part of it. Thank you very much!

@Queendragonfly Being supportive of your friend is key. I'm probably not saying anything the professional hasn't thought of 20x over. I wish him the best of luck....don't give up!

@uncalled4 [quote]Being supportive of your friend is key
[/quote] Absolutely 🗝️❤️ I'm there for him always.

[quote]I'm probably not saying anything the professional hasn't thought of 20x over.[/quote]

You'd be suprised what therapists forget to inform...

@Queendragonfly Yeah, there are some hacks. In another life, I was a therapist, I think. The thing that sucks is that knowing the problem does not eradicate it.

@uncalled4 Understanding it takes away the uncertainty with it. Which is a big PTSD trigger.

@Queendragonfly Yes! One can get some domain over issues---that's certainly true with my OCD--but I wish it were universally applicable.

@uncalled4 Yeah. Striving to cope is more realistic than striving to be cured.

@Queendragonfly Having coping mechanisms is important.

@uncalled4 Very. It's all we can do really.