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Do you struggle between good & evil?

My aunt was sick in the hospital.

I was like, I don't want to visit her and go to such a depressing place when I am feeling super low already.

My sister said if I didn't go my aunt might hold it against me bc she's the type who cut ties over stuff like this.

So be it. My sister's words got on my tired nerves and brought out the stubborn side in me. I was determined not to go.

But then, an unexpected thought occurred to me.

On the day I was born, no one was with my mom in the hospital. Except for this very same aunt.

She spent the whole night on hospital chairs, waiting for me eagerly to come into the world.

That night she had a dream that she was talking to a beautiful baby girl who was smiling and talking to her. She was among the first people who welcomed me to life.

Honestly, I felt like a very bad person to forget about how special my aunt is despite her flaws.

I decided to go and that's what happened.

My aunt was happy to see me 😃
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Carissimi · 70-79, F
Not going was not evil. However, your mind nudged you to a memory that not only elicited compassion, but thankfulness, which gave you the impetus to visit your aunt, and I’m sure gave her the loving support she needs right now.
SW-User
Well-said. I think my stubbornness was at least not something to be proud of. I also felt as if I was being self-centered & selfish.

@Carissimi
Carissimi · 70-79, F
No. I disagree. If you are feeling depressed and low, it saps your energy. Sometimes helping others can help you, and sometimes helping others when you are in need of love and support just depletes you more, and you end up worse. I don’t know your level of “low,” but you need to be kind to yourself. @SW-User
SW-User
Thank you. I try. Every now & then, I feel the need to be left alone and question my purpose to keep going. It was one of those dark days where I felt I had no power to face the world. I just wanted everything to shut off.
@Carissimi
Carissimi · 70-79, F
It’s times like this when there is not enough left of you to give to others. @SW-User