I need to calm down, I know I do.
Listen, I completely agree I need to calm down there is nothing I can do to change it, but when in the history of ever, has a woman actually calmed down, from being told to calm down?
I called my therapist yesterday, and left a message and informed them that I needed a crisis appointment, The on-call nurse called me today, and told me that the earliest appointment is on Thursday the21st . I asked her if she understood what I meant about needing a crisis appointment and she told me that, the best she could do was put me on a cancelled call list, that if someone else cancel's their appointment they will call me to reschedule.
I understand that it is out of her control, and I did not yell, I did not snap, I thanked her and we ended the call but right now, I am not happy, I am pissed, I do not remember a time that I felt this out of control, and having to go almost 20 days to see my doctor seems like a goal that is set for failure.
I am barley holding it together. I know that I need help, I really think I need a medication adjustment and know that I have to be seen in office to do that, and it honestly feels like there is no way I can be strong enough to wait that long, but I honestly don't know what else to. I am trying like hell to calm down, I am down to 2 cigarettes, I am almost completely out of weed, and my husband would appreciate it, if I didn't drink, and he wants me to eat. I am trying to breathe and calm down but damnit.
