I Will Not Gossip About Myself Or Others

I want to go to THAT wedding - with the paper mache elephant head wearing guy... they sound like fun people, and the reception is likely to be a blast. Mothers are good for this. My mother will ask me if I remember so and so - but normally it's depressing news: they have pancreatic cancer, heart attack, there was a TERRIBLE accident. I would rather hear about Jenny's mother's dog-walker's cousins friend getting married... because then you can get on SW and get a rousing agreement that people SERIOUSLY need need classes in making better small talk.

I don't know. I mean... we could always talk about carpentry?

@Moonchild Haha! I was thinking of my mother when I wrote it. When my friends tell me stuff it's usually about their friends, which is fine. One point of remove is still close; I might meet these people. But my mother? Ha! One day she will surpass herself and tell me the medical history of a woman in a tribe still not discovered by the outside world.

Carpentry, you say? Yes, I think time should be taken to study the proper coating of wood with resins. You can't beat buffing something up to a high sheen.

@floating Oh, I do hope not. If she gets the shocking news that I "might" be having a cheese sandwich later on, the poor love will never get to sleep again.

Consider Jenny's mother's dog-walker's cousin's friend ALSO knows all about you by now.

Had to laugh at this, I live in a rural area and it's not uncommon for locals to shout at you " you'll never guess who's dead " it's like a sport around here. I was on the bus a few weeks ago and this elderly lady said " you'll never guess who's dead...only my cousins second wife's father"
I swear I'm not making this up..all the time you're thinking " don't know your effing cousin let alone anyone related to them"

LOL - if your mother tells you the medical history of a remote tribal woman in the Amazon, you should definitely share. We'll mount an effort to fund her psychotherapy. lord...

Phowar! Carpentry
I think you have to take the staining/varnishing part slow. You don't want to rush it, and be careful in the buffing stage, wouldn't want to damage the grain.

Ha! I try to listen less to my mother on medical stuff. One time I went around she had a friend around and they were discussing the frequency and consistency of their bowel movements with utter zeal.

'Tis true. A slow varnish gives a nicer effect. And you wouldn't want to miss a bit and leave the work incomplete.

Is that what I have to look forward to as I get older - the excitement produced by the ability to regularly move my bowels? *sigh* I'll stick to carpentry. You know, carpentry is a worthwhile pursuit that can be undertaken even in advanced age.

Don't forget a nice slow buff either - use something soft and nonabrasive.

LOL

😂

That's good
You are very rare

Hahahaha! Well now, I cannot agree with you more on this. :)