Here we go again. Another spectacularly dubious Trump golf triumph.
The Washington Post reports:
You people make me sick. Just because President Donald Trump is 80 years old with a pancake-flat golf swing and the chipping skills of Edward Scissorhands, you refuse to believe he could shoot a 70 and hog two trophies a couple of weeks ago at his Bedminster course in New Jersey.
He says he “won” both the senior (over 50) and super senior (over 60) titles by shooting 10 strokes below his age — which is like kicking a 120-yard field goal in snowshoes.
Shame on you. You’re thinking about this all cattywampus. I’ve been tracking Trump’s golf game for 26 years. It isn’t about his golf skills. It’s about his calculator-melting math skills.
Watch the master at work …
This is how many club championships Trump said he had back in 2000.
He and I were playing at Trump National outside New York City.
Somewhere between his sixth and seventh mulligan, he declared, “You know I’ve won 12 club championships, right?”
I blinked at him. I was looking at a guy who couldn’t get out of a bunker if he had a ladder. I figured him for a 7 handicap, which was pretty good for a 56-year-old, but wins you a fistful of nothing in club championships.
Besides, whenever he’d played on TV — like the Pebble Beach tournament and the Lake Tahoe celebrity thing — he never finished in the top half.
“No chance, Donald,” I countered.
Then he explained it: Every time he buys or builds a new golf course, he plays the first round by himself and declares that the club championship.
I thought, Well, that’s just … pure … genius.
This was the number he was trotting out by 2013. “I’ve won 18 Club Championships including this weekend,” he posted online, then trashing billionaire-and-no-Trump-fan Mark Cuban (“swings like a little girl with no power or talent”).
Eighteen? I looked into it and could find no evidence he’d won any of the six new titles. One time, he’d played a different course and called in the winning score. Another time, he walked in the clubhouse, saw the winner’s name on the wall, and apparently decided, “I always beat that guy,” and declared himself the champ.
Hey, he owns the courses. It’s not like he needs to write a letter to management.
Fast forward to 2024, and by my unofficial Trump Brag count, he had 26.
That’s eight championships in 11 years. Which is Tiger Woods-like, except no objective witness would call me back to vouch that any of them were legit. Not the head pro, not the guys he played with, not any of his hardworking caddies, who drop balls for him the way the Easter Bunny drops eggs for toddlers.
He “won” one title — a two-day event — in Florida even though he spent the first day at a funeral in North Carolina. He “won” another that apparently was held while he was in Singapore with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. That’s a trick even Un’s father — Kim Jong Il — never dreamed up, and he once shot a 38.
Here is where Trump set himself apart from any baloney blowhard braggart you’ve ever met. On Aug. 6, 2025, he suddenly posted on Truth Social about having “36 Club Championships!”
Creeping covfefe! Trump had jumped up 10 championships in a single year! Maybe he’d built a putt-putt course in the White House basement and was holding secret tourneys? I’m telling you, this man could find a trophy in the 50 percent off box at Circle K.
On Thanksgiving Day last year, in a video call to soldiers, Trump let slip, “I’ve won 38 club championships, and I don’t get to practice much.” Two remarkable things about this:
1. Somehow, he’d won two more “championships” at his clubs despite the clubs’ not posting anything about them. Trump himself hadn’t even mentioned them (but you know how humble he is).
2. Extra points must be awarded for not only bragging about the 38 imaginary victories — all at courses he owns — but also moaning he could’ve won even more. My God, how many trophies can a man hoist? Don’t his arms get tired?
Or 43 or whatever. Which brings us to the recent outing when the World’s Most Self-Decorated Golfer turned in another spectacular performance: the 2-under 70 at Bedminster, which I couldn’t get anybody to vouch for, since it’s a score that would satisfy any scratch golfer of any age. “It’s called TALENT, and I have it,” he posted afterward, “and they don’t!”
Well, actually, what Trump has is caddies waiting out ahead on the course, fluffing up his lies, throwing his balls out of bunkers and picking up eight-foot putts they’ve decided he doesn’t need to make. I talked to an ex-caddy of his, who said, “Everybody knows the deal. He has to win the tournament and shoot the lowest score. It’s your job to make sure.”
So now I have the Championship Cheat Chart at 40 wins, though an onlooker at Bedminster taking a video of the awards said that by his count, Trump is up to 43.
The guy might be right. Heck, by Christmas, it could be 50. By April, he might have won the Masters. After all, at 80 years old, Trump is playing not only the best golf of his life, but the best amateur golf in the history of the sport.
Metamucil for everybody!
AI Generated Summary of 815 readers’ comments on this article:
The conversation explores the character and behavior of Donald Trump, particularly focusing on his alleged dishonesty and lack of integrity, both in his personal life and during his presidency.
Many participants express disbelief and frustration over his continued influence and support despite these traits.
The discussion frequently uses Trump's golf habits as a metaphor for his broader approach to life and governance, highlighting a pattern of cheating and lying.
Some comments also reflect on the broader implications of his behavior for American society and politics, questioning the values of those who continue to support him.
Overall, the tone is critical, with a mix of humor and concern about the impact of Trump's actions and character on the country.
You people make me sick. Just because President Donald Trump is 80 years old with a pancake-flat golf swing and the chipping skills of Edward Scissorhands, you refuse to believe he could shoot a 70 and hog two trophies a couple of weeks ago at his Bedminster course in New Jersey.
He says he “won” both the senior (over 50) and super senior (over 60) titles by shooting 10 strokes below his age — which is like kicking a 120-yard field goal in snowshoes.
Shame on you. You’re thinking about this all cattywampus. I’ve been tracking Trump’s golf game for 26 years. It isn’t about his golf skills. It’s about his calculator-melting math skills.
Watch the master at work …
This is how many club championships Trump said he had back in 2000.
He and I were playing at Trump National outside New York City.
Somewhere between his sixth and seventh mulligan, he declared, “You know I’ve won 12 club championships, right?”
I blinked at him. I was looking at a guy who couldn’t get out of a bunker if he had a ladder. I figured him for a 7 handicap, which was pretty good for a 56-year-old, but wins you a fistful of nothing in club championships.
Besides, whenever he’d played on TV — like the Pebble Beach tournament and the Lake Tahoe celebrity thing — he never finished in the top half.
“No chance, Donald,” I countered.
Then he explained it: Every time he buys or builds a new golf course, he plays the first round by himself and declares that the club championship.
I thought, Well, that’s just … pure … genius.
This was the number he was trotting out by 2013. “I’ve won 18 Club Championships including this weekend,” he posted online, then trashing billionaire-and-no-Trump-fan Mark Cuban (“swings like a little girl with no power or talent”).
Eighteen? I looked into it and could find no evidence he’d won any of the six new titles. One time, he’d played a different course and called in the winning score. Another time, he walked in the clubhouse, saw the winner’s name on the wall, and apparently decided, “I always beat that guy,” and declared himself the champ.
Hey, he owns the courses. It’s not like he needs to write a letter to management.
Fast forward to 2024, and by my unofficial Trump Brag count, he had 26.
That’s eight championships in 11 years. Which is Tiger Woods-like, except no objective witness would call me back to vouch that any of them were legit. Not the head pro, not the guys he played with, not any of his hardworking caddies, who drop balls for him the way the Easter Bunny drops eggs for toddlers.
He “won” one title — a two-day event — in Florida even though he spent the first day at a funeral in North Carolina. He “won” another that apparently was held while he was in Singapore with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. That’s a trick even Un’s father — Kim Jong Il — never dreamed up, and he once shot a 38.
Here is where Trump set himself apart from any baloney blowhard braggart you’ve ever met. On Aug. 6, 2025, he suddenly posted on Truth Social about having “36 Club Championships!”
Creeping covfefe! Trump had jumped up 10 championships in a single year! Maybe he’d built a putt-putt course in the White House basement and was holding secret tourneys? I’m telling you, this man could find a trophy in the 50 percent off box at Circle K.
On Thanksgiving Day last year, in a video call to soldiers, Trump let slip, “I’ve won 38 club championships, and I don’t get to practice much.” Two remarkable things about this:
1. Somehow, he’d won two more “championships” at his clubs despite the clubs’ not posting anything about them. Trump himself hadn’t even mentioned them (but you know how humble he is).
2. Extra points must be awarded for not only bragging about the 38 imaginary victories — all at courses he owns — but also moaning he could’ve won even more. My God, how many trophies can a man hoist? Don’t his arms get tired?
Or 43 or whatever. Which brings us to the recent outing when the World’s Most Self-Decorated Golfer turned in another spectacular performance: the 2-under 70 at Bedminster, which I couldn’t get anybody to vouch for, since it’s a score that would satisfy any scratch golfer of any age. “It’s called TALENT, and I have it,” he posted afterward, “and they don’t!”
Well, actually, what Trump has is caddies waiting out ahead on the course, fluffing up his lies, throwing his balls out of bunkers and picking up eight-foot putts they’ve decided he doesn’t need to make. I talked to an ex-caddy of his, who said, “Everybody knows the deal. He has to win the tournament and shoot the lowest score. It’s your job to make sure.”
So now I have the Championship Cheat Chart at 40 wins, though an onlooker at Bedminster taking a video of the awards said that by his count, Trump is up to 43.
The guy might be right. Heck, by Christmas, it could be 50. By April, he might have won the Masters. After all, at 80 years old, Trump is playing not only the best golf of his life, but the best amateur golf in the history of the sport.
Metamucil for everybody!
AI Generated Summary of 815 readers’ comments on this article:
The conversation explores the character and behavior of Donald Trump, particularly focusing on his alleged dishonesty and lack of integrity, both in his personal life and during his presidency.
Many participants express disbelief and frustration over his continued influence and support despite these traits.
The discussion frequently uses Trump's golf habits as a metaphor for his broader approach to life and governance, highlighting a pattern of cheating and lying.
Some comments also reflect on the broader implications of his behavior for American society and politics, questioning the values of those who continue to support him.
Overall, the tone is critical, with a mix of humor and concern about the impact of Trump's actions and character on the country.
