I Coach a Sport Called Ball Hockey

Today, at the end of the game that my kids played in, I witnessed something disturbing to me.
An opposing coach that had just lost a close game to us, grabbing one of his players by the face mask and saying - -
"Why weren't you in front of the net? I told you to be in front of the net! What are you..., A dummy?"

He got on one knee and locked his fingers through the kid's facemask.... Locking eyes with the young boy and pretty much pouring out his own disappointments about losing all over the poor kid in front of everyone that was watching. As if his disappointment in that child, at that moment was nothing but water that could be easily dried off with a towel.
Well..., It's not water, and there are no bridges for that shit to flow under. That moment is a moment that will sit in that kid's mind for quite a while, I'm guessing.

As well intentioned as that man thinks he is..., He in that moment was a detriment to that child, his team, and to the sport on the whole.
In fact, I'd go as far as to say that he, in that moment, was an absolute embarrassment, and totally undeserving of the title 'COACH' !!!

My insides roiled as I steered my players towards their goalie as we always do after games. Keeping with our team's game routines, instead of saying something that I felt should have been said but may have gotten blown out into a different thing given the circumstances.
Seriously..., how much does a single game matter in a Fall season House League ?
Adults need to check their own egos at the door and be supportive in the losses and after wins show children how to be gracious and humble.

It's coaches doing things like that that keep me coaching long after my useful shelf life as a coach...
Simply out of a fear that more young minds might be molded by adults like that as they succumb to their basest of instincts in a small moment of disappointment.

When I was a kid, we did these things without adults, and we were all just fine.
If you want to teach and mold young people..., PLEASE - do it without scarring them and leaving them blanketed in feelings of insecurity and doubt !
Next time grab someone your own size by their face mask !
Bitchass !!!

BTW - I'm your size....

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Lilnonames · F

I agree but i myself would have caught him alone and taught him a lesson

HikingMan · 51-55, M

@Lilnonames As entertaining as that is to think about..., the possible ramifications and fallout of such things is hardly acceptable in a setting filled with children and families.

I prescribe to the notion that all youth coaches are inherently good people. Why else would anyone give away hours and income to perform such a service..? I'm hoping that this is an isolated instance and that he was caught up inside his own emotions over it all. Still, my overriding thoughts stand true and tall. Coaches need to check their egos at the door. Especially in the leagues that are filled with 7-9 year old children who look at their coaches as if we were Gods.....

Everything we do as coaches needs to be done in temperance. We aren't really just teaching them hockey. We're teaching them how to live and how to be as people. Coaches need to rise above the feelings and emotions of the instant, and be there for their players in every loss and each win using compassion as our guides..., REGARDLESS !

Lilnonames · F

@HikingMan i did not say with children and parents around now. If not what does he do to a child when they are out of others sights

HikingMan · 51-55, M

@Lilnonames I am sure he's a mostly upstanding individual in most respects.
I am trying to consider it a moment of weakness on his part.
But I will now monitor the things I see as he coaches and will, if needed, bring any concerns I have to the full light of everyone involved.

These kids are all 7-9 years old and need kind and caring hands to guide them.

Lilnonames · F

@HikingMan now that sounds great. Thank u👍