Any N.O. Saints fans, please win next week. I'm a Bears fan but I'm rooting against my own team.

[@933084,mackenzieraae] No they sure as hell ain't my team.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] you’re being ridiculous, this is the blackhawks all over again. how the hell are you going to root for another fucking team all the way to the super bowl just to prove your point?! you said sports aren’t fun for you anymore and yet you do things like this so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you.

[@933084,mackenzieraae] Sports had never been fun for me. I don't know why I follow them. It stresses me out.

Regardless, I'm going to root against the Bears. That's how I do this. They're not going to the playoffs anyway so who cares? They're gonna go 6-10 and go nowhere.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] it stresses you out because you’re so competitive and overly critical of every little thing. there has to be a way to calm you down about it. are you like that when you play sports yourself?
you have to be kidding...you’re seriously gonna root against them for the whole season over one fucking bad game?!
this is pathetic.

[@933084,mackenzieraae] Yeah, when I ran cross country I did exactly the same thing and that isn't even a joke. The second year I ran, I fucked up late in the season by losing a race after I stopped paying attention and ran the wrong route. I was so angry with myself but I still had to compete because my scholarship was for athletics. When the actual ranked competition came, I won gold in both the state and regional competition but I wouldn't accept the medals. I cursed at the race judge, spit on one of the referees and threw my insert at the other. I got suspended from school and everyone hated me for like a week.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] why don’t you believe that people can learn from their mistakes and their fuckups? you don’t act like this with people, you don’t act like this when i fuck up. is it just because sports is a touchy subject?

[@933084,mackenzieraae] It's not because I fucked up, it's because how I fucked up. I didn't take it seriously. I was so disrespectful.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] yes, you did take it seriously. i know you did because you were so angry with yourself after, if you didn’t take it seriously you wouldn’t have cared. it was a mistake boo, you weren’t disrespectful and you sure as hell didn’t disappoint anyone. everyone fucks up, there’s nothing to get that angry over.

[@933084,mackenzieraae] I didn't. I went into that race thinking I was the queen of the world and who the fuck cared. The whole school was rooting for me. It wasn't a competition race so it didn't mean I was eliminated or anything but it was still important. I was running with wireless headphones listening to fucking Dr. Demento for the entirety of the race, I was absolutely treating it like it was a big goddamn joke. And I lost. I shouldn't have been allowed to compete after that, at least not until the next season when I might have matured a little. Six gold medals and eight records doesn't mean jack shit.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] okay, fine, you’re cocky. but that doesn’t mean you don’t care about cross country, you did it for a reason and you loved it. sports is not about winning zoe, you started cross country because you liked it not because it was a constant game or competition for you. it was one fucking race, you lost so you sit the fuck down and throw your petty little tantrum and then you learn from it. you suck it up because if you’re really that concerned with winning ‘the right way’ then you need to focus on getting better. six gold medals and eight records show your dedication to it, your attitude right now shows me otherwise.

[@933084,mackenzieraae] I didn't start running cross country because I liked it, I did it because I wanted to show everyone that I was better than them. And because it meant free tuition from a scholarship and I like money. I DID show everyone that I'm better than them but I sure as hell let myself down in the process, at least for my second season. My other three were fine.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] god you have the worst superiority complex that i have ever seen. yes, i know you like money. you’re a greedy person and we’ve established that. why would it let you down when you can just [i]learn[/i] from it. during a swim meet i got disqualified from a race for swimming breaststroke incorrectly. i had just learned it because before i had exclusively done freestyle. i got disqualified and lost the race and it embarrassed me and i was so angry at myself. but does that mean i didn’t deserve the other wins i got that season? no. because what i did in that one race doesn’t depict what i had yet to achieve. you cannot be perfect every time around and you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment if you believe that.

[@933084,mackenzieraae] I thought that because I was the best runner that it was a joke. I was the best runner but it wasn't a joke.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] you thought just because you were the best that meant you had a guaranteed win without having to focus and try?

[@933084,mackenzieraae] Yeah. Yeah that's exactly what I thought.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] you call me out when i’m being stupid, so zoe, that’s the stupidest fucking reaction i’ve ever seen. i agree with your reasoning, i would have been angry at myself if i had done that. but i never would have said that i didn’t deserve my other wins or that my medals or records didn’t mean shit. you sound like a fucking moron, what the hell kind of person says that?! especially one that’s always so confident and narcissistic. i’m going to figure out your subconscious meaning of this, i have to.

[@933084,mackenzieraae] You scare the shit out of me sometimes, I'm not gonna lie.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] why?

[@933084,mackenzieraae] Knowing that there's a subconscious meaning is not something most people figure out.

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] there’s subconscious meanings to everything. i don’t think i told you but last night lake and i talked about something similar and i said something that stunned him. did he tell you?

[@933084,mackenzieraae] He hadn't but I just asked him and he did now. If there's no difference between you and him...

[@6579,BlueMetalChick] than he can’t control my subconscious just as much as i can’t. he was so desperate in trying to figure out why i feel like i deserve that pain but even if he does figure it out, he can’t control it. just like you can’t control how you react to these things, but i think you can take steps to try. you’re so competitive so why don’t you put that toward something useful, like bettering yourself in the ways that you don’t like?